iraq news politics war terrorism terrorists insurgent cnn soldier sailor navy army marine mortar gun bomb attack iran middle east

Monday, November 26, 2007

As I look out the small portal window I realize…

that coming home is as big a pain as leaving. To summarize… I left Baghdad a couple of weeks ago and began what will be an extended redeployment and demobilization. This includes a week’s stop on the surface on the moon in the small country of Kuwait. There is so much nothing here, the US military set up what must be 400 jillion self-powered Magnum generator lights to brighten up said “nothingness.” At night Camp Arifjan is an awesome sight of tents, portable buildings and most importantly a Starbucks trailer lit up in the literal middle of nowhere. This is where I began my “decompression” known as Warrior Transition. In retrospect it is a good thing. Initially I was unexpectedly depressed at leaving “home” and having to travel yet again. That said nothing is more rejuvenating than a couple of days of sitting in Starbucks (i.e. good coffee as opposed to the less than fulfilling Green Bean coffee) and catching up on a few movies at the MWR tent. It gave me a moment to remember what I’ve been missing. And even more enjoyable was finally returning the 150lbs of battle rattle and the additional 4000lbs of unnecessary issued gear. Don’t get me wrong I am grateful for the entrenching tool and the extreme cold weather gear; I just think it may be a little better suited elsewhere, like the North Pole perhaps.

This was all a good start but my angst really set in when we were informed of the follow-on travel arrangements. Including customs quarantine and various other “delays,” my transit back to the states was going to take no less than 60+ hours to include - 6 terminals, 4 flights, 3 countries, 2 bus transfers, and a partridge in pear tree. This is military travel at its best. I suppose the one thing that will stick with me the most is a service members ability to sleep anywhere at anytime. I no longer see seats in a Passenger Terminal – they are luxurious sleeping accommodations.

Once back in the States I was and continue to be overwhelmed by the generosity of many and the impoliteness of others. In our first steps out of customs, we were all greeted by a long patriotic procession of well wishers giving out hugs, hand-shakes, and snacks. That and the 40 degree cold temperatures were my first episodes of extreme shock. But this was soon followed up with some sneers and comments from less than accepting folks who I suppose were a bit tired of uniformed personnel coming and going through “their” terminals. I continued my travels alone now separated from the larger herd. While waiting to board my next flight my name was called over the loud speaker to see the agent. “Sir – Thank you for your service and this lady would like to upgrade your ticket.” “Uh…” I stood there stunned and at a loss for words. “Thank you ma’am but that’s not necessary.” “I know its not… but you gave something for us… Let me give you something in return. I wont take no for an answer. Besides- You look like you can use a roomier seat to get some rest” Wow – Do I look that bedraggled? “Uh…Thank you for your kindness ma’am.” She went on to explain to me that most folks don’t have a way to express their gratitude and that having someone to personalize this experience helps humanize it…make it real. I slept for the next four hours in an almost fully reclined position. (Thanks Ms SB. - I will pass on your kindness to another trooper.)

I finally arrived at my destination where I was greeted by my girlfriend and several other close friends carrying a Texas Longhorn banner. I was still very tired and tried my best not to seem overwhelmed but I truly was happy to see familiar faces. After an impromptu breakfast I checked in to my next duty station and finally got some sleep – about 10 hours worth which is a lot seeing that my new pattern is 4 to 6.

And now? Well now I sit here going through the process of demobilization. I’m a lab rat getting pinched, poked, bled and briefed. It’s a slow process slowed even more by the Thanksgiving holidays. That said I have an infectious smile on my face and for probably the first time in my life I seem to be the most patient person in the room; a quality that I think has endured me to an obviously overworked staff. As others (who I may add were only on 4 and 6 month deployments) jump up and down screaming “hurry up hurry up…” I just wait in lines and say “Take your time - get it right… You see everyday is a gift: No ones shooting at me, I have a certain amount of freedom to travel, I don’t see any sand, and it’s relatively nice outside… I am just happy to be here.” Hmm… So it took all this to finally discover Zen.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Eager to leave – reluctant to go…

Before I begin I will admit this is probably one of the toughest entries I've written. My mind is very conflicted with contradictions. On this my fifth and final attempt at not rambling I will follow the golden rule of Keep It Simple Stupid. Pardon if it still comes off as a stream of consciousness - Enjoy…

I am standing on the Helo pad preparing to board a Blackhawk that will take me to Baghdad International. This is the beginning of a redeployment and reorientation process. I am shaking the hand of my vision of Davy Crocket personified or maybe it's Stephen F. Austin (If you don't know him look him up.) Though I've only known Charlie three months, we have become very close friends. This giant of a statesman with a big welcoming smile and firm grip challenges my opinions of politicians. He also confirms for me that I never want to run for public office… I value my "freedom of opinion" (read: freedom to say whatever is on my mind) far too much. He is genuinely a good guy with good intentions…

An hour and a half earlier I am standing outside the Embassy bidding my roommate farewell… It is our third such goodbye in as many hours. And yesterday he took the day off just to spend time with me. Hence why I haven't slept in 30 + hours and why I am now running behind. While I will miss him I can really ill afford this additional goodbye – "Dude, I'm gonna be late - I still have stuff to ship." "I know Wood, I just don't want to see you leave." It wasn't supposed to end like this… We came in together we are supposed to be rolling out together. Such is the life of an Individual Augmentee. This is my true Battle Buddy in every sense of the word. I met Dave a year ago at the airport in S. Carolina in route to combat training. We've pretty much been together ever since. He is one of the most gracious people I have ever had the pleasure to know…to a fault. He shared everything with me from care packages (I think most of the stuff I am shipping home is actually gifted from him.) to the drama and turmoil of his personal
life. He is even responsible for my call sign "Hollywood." And through it all I have seen incredible growth and transformation – from an unsure sailor with a broken family to career officer figuring out who he really is. I can not have asked for a better friend, confidant or battle buddy…

Six hours later I am getting a quick cat nap on a cot at BIAP. (I did mention my roommate and Charlie had me up all last night.) I open my eyes and there sitting quietly looking at me is Michael. "What the hell… how long you been here brutha? Why didn't you wake me up?" "Just a few minutes, I couldn't bring maself ta wake up a man lookin so peaceful and such." A fellow Texan, self-proclaimed red-neck, and great friend he was transferred out to Victory from the IZ some weeks ago. I was a bit concerned that I wouldn't get the chance to see him before I left town. He appropriated a vehicle and risked driving into the red zone a couple of times just to see me off. We are the epitome of the fellowship of Texans. When I get around him my draw comes out with vigor and his "tall-tales" git jist a bit taller if ya know what I mean. We don't necessarily see eye to eye on everything such as my passion for the Longhorns or his enthusiasm for the Aggies (which shore nuff can lead to some lively and spirited conversations) but regardless of our differences we are brothers and Texans living in an odd situation with a bond of home that cannot be broken. (see note above on the value of "freedom of opinion") We grab chow, share a last Green Bean coffee and talk about future reunions before we bid a temporary farewell. Michael embodies a surrogate for the brother I lost …

On my last hours in Iraq I choose to share these three people with you… You see I joined the services for "high-minded" reasons: defend the constitution, protect our citizenry, guard against oppression… hell more importantly - preserve my right to "freedom of opinion". However all that pails… In the end it's not about politics of the Middle East or economics of a barrel of oil, or even the history of who is right and who is wrong. It's about people; serving for whatever reason. These three and the many others - Free, Mr. BUA, Capt KJ, SwordMan, The Boss, Letlow, The Yoz, "President Carter", ColeMiner, KC and Justine, to name a few, represent more than mere friendship. They are family - brothers and sisters in war - living an
experience that many will question and few will comprehend; an experience that will be difficult to relate without first hand knowledge. They represent my military service. And while I want nothing more than to get back home as soon as possible – these folks are now part of my home. Parting truly is bittersweet.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Time for a little reflection…

As I make preparations for my early departure, I feel both an eagerness to move out and reluctance to leave battle buddies behind. For all intents and purpose this place became my home and this life abnormally familiar. I also have the beginning twinges of anxiety of returning to a life I left well over a year ago. I am well versed at "You can never go "home" again – because the "home" you left was a snapshot in time of both place and person. I know I've changed and I know the circumstances of those I knew has changed – how much will be determined by the comparison and contrast of those people and the places I used to know. The "home" I return to will require redefinition. I digress…


So where does that leave me now? Well as any good "Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years" show will prove… I am obliged to provide a brief reflection of beginning and end. With that… Something is very clear - The Baghdad I leave behind is not the Baghdad I arrived at a year ago. Regardless of your take on this conflict there is an undeniable sea change taking place here at the moment. On my arrival there was a palpable sense of resignation and uncertainty. Today there is a growing but cautious sense of optimism and new possibilities. There is still much to do and the challenges for this country are enormous but at least now there is a kernel of will and semblance of spirit. It grows by the day and I truly hope it is as infectious as the passion these folks here have for their country, history and religion.


Monday, November 05, 2007

The Scientist…

Transition defines the essence of my experience in Baghdad…and as my time here ebbs my position continues to evolve from that of charging the hill to passing the torch. The other day I woke up and realized (by design) I had trained myself right out of my latest primary duty. There was literally nothing left for me but a daunting amount of neglected administrative work and After Action Reports. Or so I thought… It seems Sr. Leadership had something else in mind for me. As the Admiral repeatedly said throughout my tour, "Hollywood - your reward for hard work done well is more hard work;" thus my newest and I suspect (based on historical evidence) my final title – "Special Projects Officer." And for my money, I think this is the most fulfilling job I've had yet. My task? Combine my lessons learned with some creative marketing to 1) streamline a couple wasteful practices, 2) develop a branded imaging campaign and 3) simplify our tools and products to better suit our customers needs. In other words, at long last, I am finally bringing my Customer Relationship Management skills to the fray. The result? A slick new set of, simple to use, simple to produce products dubbed the "Science Projects" by my Army Cadre. "Damn Hollywood – you're a friggen Rocket Scientist… everyone loves these things Hooah!" "Hooah Boss! See… let me work on something I'm good at and I will produce." "Hollywood - I hope you realize working on what you know isn't what makes you an impressive officer. Anyone of us can work within the margins of expertise. For the past year now I've watched you pulled this way and pushed that way… constantly run through the ringer and challenged to work outside of your comfort zone day in and day out - week after week… You've held more jobs here in the past year than most people have in their entire career. And regardless of the task assigned, you saluted and moved out smartly accepting all risks and inevitably contributing some sort of positive, often unexpected, product. In my eyes that's what makes you truly remarkable." "Whoa… uhhhh…Thank you sir." I was more than a bit stunned and it took a little longer than usual to stutter the following…" Sir the way I see it, the execution is too easy… ya'll stepping out of your typically conservative dogmatic safety zone and giving me all the rope I needed to hang myself… that was the real science project."

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween!

Whether it's taking an inebriated stagger down 6th street, dancing (drinking) at the Goth clubs in the Montrose, scrutinizing "fashions" of the West Hollywood parade, strolling leisurely down Kalakaua Ave or just hosting a costume party with friends – Halloween is something I thoroughly celebrate. In fact, as most of my close friends and family can attest, it is my absolute favorite Holiday. So as I spend this Halloween lurking the Embassy Ballroom in a eerie Baghdad Palace, I want to take a moment to wish you all the scariest and spookiest of Halloweens! And in the spirit of this Holiday I wish to haunt you with this extremely frightening thought – As you may have figured I'm dressed in my usual "Sand Pirate" costume. More significantly…this year I'm armed and dangerous!

BOO!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

It may be about the journey and not the destination but I REALLY want to go there.

I walked by the periodical shelf today and noticed a well worn Wine Spectator magazine. I don't typically take notice of these things as I haven't had the time to enjoy "extracurricular" reading. If it doesn't involve a clip about developing political and economic civilization or concerted attempts to blow it up then it's just not in my preview. This time however I was intrigued by one of the cover segments which included "good-eats" in LA and exploring the south of France. I picked up the magazine for a quick browse and couldn't put it down. Besides reviews of traveling for the palate, chocolate and wine pairings, and all around gourmand interests, the articles on the LA restaurants really caught my attention. The picture of a sushi plate included with a review of a Japanese restaurant named Hokusai nearly floored me…The assessment on the Omakase menu left my mouth watering. I was instantly taken back to an amazing dining experience in Kyoto Japan. I could visualize it… taste it… For five minutes I was back in the small traditional eatery in a far off place. I want to go to Hokusai when I get home if for no other reason than providing me with a 5 minute respite from Baghdad. I considered writing down the name of the restaurant and or emailing it to myself so I wouldn't forget it but then I did something a bit out of character… I desecrated the magazine. I ripped out the page, folded it up (careful to not to put creases in the picture of the beautifully displayed sashimi plate) and put it in my wallet. As selfish as it may be the name was just not enough. I want this article and associated picture to serve as a personal memento of where I've been and where I'm going.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Well now… This is a day to remember.

I woke up to a rumble… then another… and another. It's been relatively quiet around here lately so this break in the norm seemed a bit extraordinary. I had to take a look outside to see for myself. I was pleased and amazed to see cloudy skies and big rain drops. Not much but enough to realize that yes there is such thing as weather beyond a cloudless sunny 95+ degree day.

The words were as unbelievable as they were shocking… "LT you may want to get used to the idea of leaving Iraq a little earlier than we anticipated." The comment was so unexpected it fell flat like a dull thud. Our admin officer shuffled there in front of me looking for a reaction. "Front office isn't too happy about it either…" she trailed off still searching for something. My experience with the orders process thus far has been "unpredictable" to put it mildly. It only stands to reason that my leaving would become just as disorderly as my arriving. I gave her my now typical wry smile, "Hmmm… let me think about that for a moment. OK I'm used to the idea. Now let's make it happen." And there I was… standing in disbelief in a now empty hallway, wearing a goofy smile, and confirmation that this extreme summer camp actually has an end date…a date I can mark on the calendar. Barring any "unforeseens" I am assured I will be back in the states in time for the holidays.

And tomorrow I go on Pass for a few days… Yeah – this has the makings of a good day.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Just so you know…

Pardon the delays but recent changes to the systems have made posting hit and miss. As it is these postings are published via email. I will do my best to get a new update mailed shortly. Until then my best wishes to everyone.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Hmmm it was interesting while it lasted…

My how time flies… it's been nearly 3 months since I left for leave. After covering positions for several folks taking their own leave, I was asked what I want to do next. "Hmmm.... that's a new one… what do I want to do? Really?" It didn't take long to determine. Having worked every position here I requested a job that would provide some new challenges, stimulus and some professional/personal growth; all very reasonable. More importantly, the area I want to support just had a 95% turn-over and needed the guidance of an "old-timer." Well - what was old is new again and I'm back in my old job... by name requested; long on hours, short on sleep, engaging the media at every turn. Sure its "front-line" stuff but honestly I can't say as I missed it that much. It's become so second nature it sort of bores me. Well… not sort of… I just don't find it that challenging. Additionally while most folks here vie for face time with General Officers, I'm way over it. For me it just means more sleepless nights. I saw this coming… there's been so much turn-over in the office I knew sending me away was a pipe-dream that the Sr. Leaders could ill afford but I suppose they had to ask. It wouldn't be long before they figured out the shortcomings for themselves. "You have earned the right to go where you want to go and we don't think for one minute that you wouldn't make a substantial addition to the other division…Unfortunately LT you're too critical to our mission." And there it was…with my typical wry smile and a chuckle I sort of blurted out my first thought "Boy are you guys in trouble… No worries Sir, keep in mind ya'll asked me what I wanted to do so I told ya… Needs of the service dictate you need me here… how high do you need me to jump."

So what do you do when life tosses you lemons? Well for me I do the following: One – I find new ways to challenge myself and two - I always start making myself less "critical." A bit of the ole "what happens if I get hit by a bus?" sort of thinking (Or tank/HMMWV/Rocket is probably more appropriate out here). Following in the old mantra of See - Do – Teach, I have taken it upon myself to teach the new folks (or anyone who will listen) to assume these responsibilities too…much to everyone's surprise. Curiously, it seems most of my associates are threatened by the idea of passing on their learning's to others. For my part… boy do I like to share.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

And don't call me CHOPS…

As the title infers, the Boss returned and resumed his high profile "in the line of fire" position. I think the most challenging aspect was dealing with frustrations brought about by new folks who are unaccustomed with our environment. They are forced to learn the difference (on the job) from what they believe they are supposed to do with the reality of what we are actually doing. Theories break down in the world of operations. What is practiced in the peace-time world doesn't quite work in the combat arena. That coupled with a lot of accountability and little executional fire power to affect a free-media space makes for a very difficult work situation. I am happy for the opportunity to walk in the boss's shoes but trust me when I say he has mighty big boots to fill. The bad news – unfortunately it's not quite the same job he left; too many new "Good Idea Fairies" muddying the water. The good news – fortunately it's not the same job he left behind and the days off and PT time stuck. I think I even managed a way for the Boss to get some of that free time; Necessity is the mother of invention. I only hope I didn't let him down.

After my first day off in over 8 weeks I woke up this morning and realized my time here really is growing shorter by the day. And for the first time in Baghdad I feel relaxed and ready for the day. Wow - that only took 10 months.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

"Morning Chops…"

Just the sound of those two words catches me off guard. I never expected to hear that title directed toward me…

A quick rundown of where I am now…After returning from leave, I was requested to cover some gaps for a few battle buddies which required taking on night shift operations. Rather ironic since one of my reasons for going on leave to Europe was to avoid the turmoil of a time shift from a 12 to 14 hour time difference. Oh well. I quickly adapted and became a creature of the night. Let me tell you there is something refreshing about living in the desert and working at night during the hottest months of the year. I flourished at this job. Although I will admit waking up to light and going to sleep to light was a little disorienting on the whole I took to this shift like a fish to water. After a couple of weeks of night shift one of my favorite Lt Cols – "Boss", who entered theater a couple of weeks after me, pulled me aside to let me know it was his turn to take leave and that he recommended to Sr. leadership that I take his post during his absence. I laughed at him and told him what a funny joke. "Boss… didn't I mention I am enjoying the low profile night job?" He wasn't joking… "It's an easy job – you'll love it…" Famous last words… "Sir, I'm an LTO3 type… You want me to manage my seniors?" Now he started to laugh quite jovially… " Hollywood – Tell me the last time you didn't boss your bosses around? Last I checked you wear 2 stars by proxy." Grrrrrrr… I was really hoping to ride out this fun gig for at least another week. No way around it I don't only make waves the waves often come back to over take me. I suppose taking it easy here is just not in my cards. I am now Chief of the Media Operation Center. People call me Chief or CHOPS (Chief of Operations) or just Boss. I have a fair-sized staff of people doing extended hours of busy work running on little sleep 24hrs a day and many Sr. Officers circling my desk by the minute. For better or worse this is a high visibility position and I suppose the most interesting aspect is the look of surprise whenever a new visitor sees me behind wheels. It's something I'm sort of used to by now. Most of my colleagues begin their introductions with "Don't mind his rank; he's a reservist with tons of experience…

Unfortunately, as I expected, one of those perfect storms was brewing – a significant portion of the staff and Sr. Leaders including Boss's supervisor were replacements that were rotating in. First task – train these new folks (including the three new Sr. Supervisors and my night counterpart) in their jobs while maintaining high ops tempo. One of the unforeseen benefits of being "an old-timer" is becoming the basis of corporate knowledge and default teacher. (Read: Grrrrr 2.0) My second and more important task – build morale. I approached this job as only a Jr. Officer can – with a "blissful ignorance" and a "better to beg forgiveness than ask permission" attitude. I reenacted the one day off rotation system and mandated the daily 2 hrs of PT time away from your desk schedule. These benefits were turned off a few month's ago by Boss's outgoing supervisor because of another restructuring. No one took the time to think about turning it back on. Why not take advantage of a regime change to re-enact good solutions? Mostly I just did it to look out for my folks the way Boss looks out for me. The smiles on everyone face tells me their morale is getting better already. It was even funnier for everyone to hear the Sr. Supervisor tell folks we were implementing a 1 day off and 2 hrs a day benefit a week after it had already taken effect. I'm guessing this is one time I won't have to beg forgiveness.

As it stands the Chief position doesn't benefit from the 1day off - 2 hours of daily PT. They have to pull watch duty 24x7 with their night ops counterpart in order to stay on top of operations and the world media and manage crisis communications. They are "the glue that holds this place together." Suffice it to say I'm eager for the Boss to return.

Monday, August 20, 2007

“Alright – I’ll see you back home…”

I recently received a chain email from a friend that caught me by surprise. I typically disregard most junk/joke emails, sending them straight away to the delete bin, but as I read the list of bullets on this particular message, I realize they are not only quite humorous but (for better or worse) amazingly relevant. As a matter of fact the quote in the subject line is not in reference to a future meeting in the States… Oh no… Rather it’s something my roommate and I tend to say these days in endearing reference to a certain 16X8 metal container typically used for field construction offices. We now prefer to call it… well… “Home.” All the same I decided to share… Enjoy.

"You know you've been In Iraq Too Long If..."

Generally:
• You call your tent (trailer/connex if you're lucky) "Home".
• You start to think "it's not so bad here".
• You say "this place sort of grows on you".
• You say, "It feels cooler today" and find out that the temperature is 110.
• You get excited at the idea of "ICE".
• Apaches excite you much more than Blackhawk's or Kiowa's.

Armaments:
• You don't jump when a door slams or someone drops something.
• You aren't alarmed when every second person you see has a gun or two or three.
• You kick the M-16 on the floor aside without a second thought when you sit down in the Dining Facility.
• A Glock 9MM on a lady's hip is considered sexy.
• Mortars and rockets are "Okay" compared to vehicle bombs.
• You can measure distances based on explosion sounds.
• When a "Red Alert" sounds and you're leaving a DFAC, you would rather go back in and have more coffee instead of seeking shelter in a bunker.
• You know the difference in sound between "Incoming" and "Outgoing".

Entertainment:
• You get excited at the prospect of seeing the latest gun camera videos.
• $5.00 for a DVD is a little pricey….especially if there is only one movie.
• You are disappointed if you can't find a new movie a day after it is released in theatres stateside.
• Sitting around with your coworkers talking about different ways to be killed is considered "Water Cooler Talk".

Convoys:
• You are soothed by the sounds of helicopters flying six feet over your trailer.
• Bullet holes in the cab of your vehicle are no longer alarming.
• Vehicle selections consist of "Up Armored or Not" not Volvo or Mercedes Benz.
• Convoys consist of as many extra Hummers and large caliber weapons as the Convoy Commander can find.
• Driving on the sidewalk is normal.
• Hit-and-Run fender benders are treated as mere warnings.
• You get upset that you don't get "C-130" Frequent Flyer Miles.
• Your carry-on luggage includes a flack jacket and helmet.
• Driving through the traffic circle of death has lost its thrill.

Hygiene:
• You enjoy waiting 45 minutes for the toilets to refill.
• Its ok to skip brushing your teeth because the tent/trailer is out of bottled water.
• It's ok to brush your teeth with the brown water that comes out of the faucets.
• Flies don't even hang around anymore.
• You have your own roll of toilet paper stashed in your tent/truck/ pack.
• A shower with water that is either too cold or too hot and contains no mosquitoes is a priceless unattainable luxury.

Surroundings:
• "Texas Barriers" are something other than a device to keep Texans Out.
• "Jersey Barriers" are something other than fences to keep Holsteins away from Jerseys.
• You get excited with the presence of clouds in the sky.
• The security guards are Peruvian, Georgian, Ghurka, South African, etc, etc, etc.

Dining:
• You look forward to Mohammad's Mango ice cream as the treat for the day.
• Powdered eggs taste don’t taste too bad.
• You consider plastic ware the Palace China.
• You can distinguish inherent qualities of various plastic utensils.
• The quality of the plastic utensils becomes a hot dinner topic.
• The quality of the plastic utensils becomes a cold dinner topic.
• The quality of the plastic utensils becomes a leisurely anytime topic.
• Lettuce for your salad is a luxury.
• You have become to believe that ham should be grey in color.
• No matter what animal you are eating, it will be flavored with curry.
• Going to another mess hall is an adventure.
• Putting Thousand Island dressing on you hamburger bun instead of mayo/mustard/catsup is normal.
• You automatically pick up two plastic forks whenever beef is on the menu.
• A McDonald’s Quarter Pounder with Cheese meal is a gourmet delicacy
• You accept the fact that fajitas do not require tortillas.
• Sliced hot dogs on a pizza served in a KBR DFAC is good eats.
• If you can not decide if you are going to leave a brownie and some milk during a mortar attack.

Fashion:
• You think dessert combat boots look great with shorts.
• Sand between your thong sandals actually feels good.
• Buzz cuts begin to look stylish (even on girls).
• You can recognize 12 different camouflage patterns.
• You've given up on shoe polish.
• T-shirts at the PX are: M, L, XL, and XXL & KBR.

Living Conditions:
• You get a big smile when you see your pressed clothes at the KBR laundry.
• You get a bigger smile knowing they didn't lose your laundry.
• You get the biggest smile when you get back someone else's laundry and now you have more underwear than before.
• You think the bullet holes in the roof of your trailer is just another form of ventilation.
• You get upset because the post office won't ship your looted artifacts.
• You haven't had water from anything other than a bottle for months on end.
• You consider broken sandbags just a new beach expansion.
• The idea of a double wide trailer is only for the very rich and powerful.
• Forgetting your military ID makes you feel naked…but pants are optional.
• "Only one rocket has hit camp" is excellent news.
• Cardboard boxes have become substantial pieces of furniture.

Communications:
• Stars & Stripes seem to be a liberal newspaper.
• It feels normal to have to run outside to make a cell phone call.
• You call your coworkers as soon as new T-Shirt patterns arrive at the PX.
• "Can you hear me" takes up 50% of your cellular telephone conversations.
• Your conversations are sprinkled with "Roger that" and "Good copy".

Friday, August 10, 2007

Rebel???... or Leader?

It wasn’t the first time I’ve heard the name…
In fact it’s nothing new. People have labeled me a “Rebel” for the better part of my life. It’s a term of endearment as far as I’m concerned… I embrace it… consider it a compliment even. Perhaps it’s my innate curiosity or maybe it’s simply my stubborn and ornery Texas nature… but I am always reluctant to blithely fall into every line because others are doing so. If you ask me it’s far too easy (and potentially dangerous).

In this particular case I don’t think the comment was meant as a compliment. My quizzical response of “…And?” was followed up by a “But you’re in the Navy…” as if this were all the excuse in the world to justify just doing what I’m told. My response? “I’ve never just done anything… I’ve always pondered the resulting effect of any action.” Most of histories greatest leaders and innovators do or did the same. Many of them were labeled rebels, rabble-rousers and trouble-makers. Yes I am in a military establishment… my cohorts and I have the ability to impact (positively and negatively) others lives and circumstances. Therefore it is not only a responsibility but a requirement to ensure we evaluate a situation and respond with the most appropriate action. Sometimes that means taking directions outside the perceived norm and not being afraid to make adjustments. If doing so makes me a rebel (even with a negative connotation) then I proudly accept the title.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Wake up and smell the old World…

OK so I’ve heard from several of you wondering what’s going on. Why no new blog entries? Well one of the very few benefits of being here so long is this thing called leave. I left Iraq for a few weeks for a bit of Rest and Relaxation. What a relief it is to breathe air not laced with Mesopotamian dust and smoke from burning tires. I opted to meet my girlfriend in Europe for a couple weeks instead of taking the long flight back 11 time zones. Our itinerary included time in Germany and France. Even the noise and auto pollution of Paris was - well a “breath of fresh air.”

I took this opportunity to fulfill a long awaited goal. Being the history buff I am, we visited the allied invasion beaches of Normandy. Trying to explain all the sights and emotions will require several entries of their own but just know the experience of visiting such historical places as Pegasus Bridge, Omaha and Utah beach, Pont du Hoc and Ste. Mere Eglise at this particular time in my life was ironic… educational… contextual…

We followed this up with a trip to the Burgundy region for some really amazing food and wine… actually after all the KBR meals, a Twinkie and Thunder-Bird alcoholic grape juice is amazing food and wine. Trust me when I say we ate and drank like royalty. Hmmm - I forgot what real food tastes like. From Burgundy we headed to the Black Forrest of Germany. Did I ever mention I hate the desert? Wow - I forgot what fresh water, trees and mountain air is like - so crisp… so sweet. After a pit stop in Baden-Baden for a spa treatment and some Chinese food we made a side-trip to visit a small town named Neuenburg; the namesake of a close friend. (By the way Mr. Neuenburg, you may want to go back to the old country to fix-up the family castle, it sprung a leak in the roof some hundred years ago and the water damage is pretty severe. On the plus side the massive stone walls are still pretty damned impressive.) After a rather peppy 3 digit speed on the Deutsche Autobahn – “Wow this little car can really go this fast!” – We headed back to Paris. Amazing - I forgot what freedom of travel is like. In Paris we visited Euro Disney and saw Harry Potter on the big screen. Oh yeah - I forgot how much I love the entertainment industry.

Now that I’m back to my “favorite” land of sand, 120 + temperatures, hostile-fire, restricted movement and processed food I will simply say the real significance of my trip isn’t so much that I got some much needed sleep and time to decompress. It’s more that I had an awakening. I realized how deeply involved I became in my work here and how many things I took for granted or simply forgot about. I realized just how home sick I am. Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary that I left my civilian life for military duty. I am ready to finish up this tour and get back to my family, friends, career, and most importantly the wonders of my previous life.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

When no fireworks is a good thing…

By popular demand (mostly from the girlfriend) I am taking a moment to write a quick update. It’s been busy… I’ve been a little sick (again)… And most importantly I just haven’t been in the mood to write.

It’s the 4th of July Baghdad style. And while I stand in this large Islamic architected ballroom listening to PM Maliki, President Talibani, AMB Crocker, and Gen Petraeus I am reminded of all the upheavals our United States went through to become the stable and secure democracy it is today. The struggles of a fledgling government taking on a War of Independence, the strains of a country divided by Civil War, the trials of injustice inevitably leading to several social revolutions, it’s taken us 231 years to get this point. The elected Government of Iraq is a little over a year old. The challenges before these people are enormous but not insurmountable. With our without our support I am confident they will find a way. We can only hope the road before them finds this sovereignty at peace with its neighbors, with a representative government that respects the rights of its people (culture norms accepted), and denies a safe haven for terrorist. But as I stand here listening to the Iraqi National Anthem followed by the Star Spangled Banner, one thing continues to run through my head. I hope that someday the people of Iraq can stand proudly and celebrate an independence day of their own.

While I typically spend this day at a BarBQ and finish it off with a great fireworks display… trust me when I say this is one time I am happy and willing to miss the “explosions.”
Best Wishes for great Fourth of July!

PS For my Brit friends – Thank you for your partnership - Thank your lucky stars you're rid of us! ;-p

Monday, June 18, 2007

My War – Or perhaps its really Our War...

(Warning due to the “100lb brain” contemplation and graphic nature of this rant viewer discretion is advised)

I was speaking to friends the other day about the strategic communications packages I began developing a month ago or so. When we get the formula right we get big media play. So far, I am 4 for 4. Front office says I am at the tip of the “non-kinetic” spear. My cohorts here are looking to duplicate my efforts so they began quizzing me on the “how to.” Before our conversation I hadn’t really thought about the “how to” as much as the “for whom” on any given event. The answer is second nature. Know your audience and you know your story. I pondered that answer a little further and came to a basic unsettling realization about my audience.

This war of extremes… our “War on Terror…” is a war of ideology (obviously.) But what is not so obvious is everyone’s role in this war. On one side there is an unconscious submission to fanatical detachment – that which makes us inhumane. On the other side is a need for all of us to resist our base “me first” survival instincts and practice overt conscious compassion – that which defines us as human. So for me it comes down to that… I am a fighting the “non-kinetic” war of Compassion vs. Detachment… and my mission is to push empathy into a world of cynicism.

Explain? Sure…
The capability to highjack a plane and fly it into a building of thousands… the ability for someone to pull out a knife and physically saw someone’s head for video display… the facility for a crowd to violently and slowly stone an young woman to death in public exhibition… the capacity to bind a persons hands behind them, hang them from a hook in the rafters and use power tools to drill through their arms, back, and skull… All these acts take a profuse lack of sympathy and tremendous amount of detachment.

The real crime… detachment is contagious. Witnessing sensational acts of violence or its effects is initially shocking often infuriating. Seeing recurring acts over time and we become desensitized and numb. Before you know it, we are simply indifferent or detached. Yesterday’s extreme act is today’s aggressive action and tomorrow’s routine. Inevitably the mere definition of “sensational act” must be escalated to the incomprehensible… another potential fanatic is born.

Example? OK… Torture videos were (and in some places still are) available on the black market here in Baghdad during Saddam’s Regime. It was a handy devise to reinforce the message of submit or pay the price for an uneasy population. People all over Iraq bought these things for the shock value. They were (and are) popular. Now we have a society accustomed to watching the suffering of others. It’s not sensational – it’s routine.

Back to knowing my audience: My audience is suffering fatigue… they see the atrocities of daily terrorism and war… they are for all intents and purposes detached… embittered… cynical. I contend we cannot afford to forget what chain of event brought us here. Right or wrong, we are here now and unfortunately must remain to finish a job. Because of these facts I must fanatically promote shocking stories that remind us why it is important to be human and why it’s important to be human - here. Something that is doubly difficult to convey to people living – there (US). One of the few tools I have is association; highlighting that which is familiar for all of us. Promoting the tenderness of new borne… Highlighting the innocence of school children… Endorsing the warmth and safety of home… Reinforcing the affection of family… The more I push the envelope the more I realize I am using the same tactics as my enemy but instead I am trying to move the audience from indifference and detachment to a world of active empathy and compassion. I am a warrior of “sensational compassion.” I am a director of theater and drama - In effect pulling heart-strings in hopes of pushing reaction…Marketing 101.

My concern? For any audience to be so cynical and callous is disappointing sometimes often discouraging. It serves to demonstrate how much ground we have ceded to the enemy. Where does it end?

Every one of us is responsible for making a difference. We all need to engage on some level. For some of us it’s charging to the “tip of the spear.” For others… well I leave that for you to decide but I offer you this challenge. Get involved on some level. Practice whatever act of personal kindness / engagement / service fits your personality. Acknowledge a homeless person… Engage in conversation with a disenfranchised student… Take interest in someone else’s cultural, social or theological difference… even if the cost is as simple as 1 minute of your life. What you don’t realize is how that slightest of human compassion may be the ripple in the universe that alters a path and keeps a isolated individual from joining a fanatical group, shooting up a college campus, igniting a car bomb in a market place, or flying a jet liner into a high-rise.
You'll deprive the enemy of opportunity and sure as hell make my job a little easier.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Well that seems familiar…

A few of my close friends - hi Jason … hi Joe …can attest to the fact that when there is something that needs to get done - a “crisis” per say - I become very um…“focused.” Some of these friends say I change into my alter ego “Mr. CRM” in reference to an initiative I spent the better part of my time working on in my civilian career. This is my business face I suppose. The take charge, move out, make things happen and heaven help the individual or group there-of that gets in the way. Today the Al Askari mosque was attacked… again. This is the same Golden Domed Mosque of Samara that was blown up over a year ago and is attributed to initiating the wave of sectarian violence that has plagued Iraq since. While everything that happens here can be considered a “crisis” this one has the potential of really shocking the system. We had to start moving on this before we were over come by events. It is in this framework of changing our days plan that the following moment happened…

We have had a group of new folks around giving an assessment of our performance and implementing much needed organizational changes. It’s having a positive effect. Funny thing is I am the subject matter expert on some of these items and folks are asking my advice. Today one in particular told me he was having trouble getting around a rather difficult roadblock in the form of an “ego.” When I advised my shipmate on how to how to “Smartly address this ego with a couple of grenades and fifty pound sledge hammer he turned to me with great concern and said, “This guy is definitely not going to like you or me...” Without thinking I abruptly stopped, spun on heel and looked my friend directly in the eye and in a most serious and official tone channeled these words…“I didn’t come here to make friends… I came here to get it DONE!” I added a couple other choice words about 1) what I think of people who use their egos to gate-keep and block progress 2) how he might also want to spend more time getting it done less time worrying about friends and 3) if he really needed a friend which one of us he would rather have on the “friendly” side of the fence but that is of little consequence here. What is important is the familiar look I saw in this guys face as he stared back at me. Um - hi Jason… hi Joe… It was something in between “did someone get the name of that bus that just hit me?” and “Sir Yes Sir How - High Sir!”

I’m not sure he knew what hit him. For that matter I’m not sure what I threw at him. You see there is a subconscious part of me that just naturally stands up and takes charge of any given situation. I don’t know where it comes from it’s just always been there. The result… well the roadblock is gone and as for the crisis… initial feedback is that we are managing our area very well.

This incident tells me I’m coming into my own around here. As my friends Joe and Jason will say I not only know where to find the grenades, more importantly I know when and how to lob them for effect.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Finding life amongst the living…

OK… So it’s been about 3 weeks since I was last able to write and post something. I fully expect many of you have dropped off, lost patience or quite possibly just lost interest. Can’t say as I blame ya… Most of my writing is now relegated to opening remarks or responses to media or... Regardless this not so new job is now new all over again. A month ago “The Ninja cell” as we were called began a planned disintegration as one by one the members of this “elite” team began their rotations back to the states in anticipation of the boss ending his tour. With the loss of talent I went from 90mph to “ludicrous speed” – “light speed is too slow.” ;-p

My promise to the team members, who were going back to set up a support cell for the boss stateside, was that I would manage his engagements and get him out of here in his last month without any mistakes or incidents. No sooner was I in my new position of responsibility then we had a crisis that needed to be managed; Missing Soldiers. Moreover we got real pressure to ramp-up daily operations. Long story short – the past month was a real trial of patience and endurance. I suppose I passed the test because I am now let loose to do what I do best… develop strategic communications packages. I was also surprised with a CG coin for my efforts.

The boss is now home starting his 3 star job with the rest of the Ninja Team and I am still here fulfilling my second promise… transitioning the boss’s replacement - keeping the mission going without skipping a beat. So far so good…luckily for me he brought the cavalry with him. That’s right I have a replacement and it makes me very happy. Several weeks running without enough sleep have taken its toll. As things begin to shape up I am starting to feel human again. (Sleep – not milk – does a body good)

When I first arrived, people asked me how long I was scheduled to be here. After hearing the answer they continually told me that I would become the mayor of the town. As we go through this transition and pass along what I have learned I realize now what they meant. I am quickly becoming the “salty sailor” here… I am the old-timer. The number of people who arrived here before me is growing smaller by the day. Within the next month I will be one of a handful left with the corporate knowledge of last year. I know where things are and how to get things done. All this and I haven’t even hit the half-way mark yet. As far as I’m concerned I’ve been to the top of the hill – Now I’m ready to help someone else get there. I’d rather get 5 to 6 hours sleep.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

No time like the present to have no time…

So I’m still here and many friends are not… I have no time on my hands and apparently my friends have a little more than they are accustomed too. I am far to tired to be bored and my friends are bored with how slow and tired things are. So I asked for a little help. I've "ordered" an entry from a stateside friend - I bring you Captain KJ:
(We pronounce that like the old CAPTAIN CAVEMAN!!!! cartoon by the way…)


Capt...
So after being teased inordinately for my previous “Sex In the City: Baghdad” style guest-blog, I’m afraid to write anything that’s typically Captain KJ… Not really, but anyway, I’ll try to stay on topic about getting back home and all that. Man, these PA types really crack the whip.

I’m back in the thriving metropolis of Montgomery, Alabama where I have been for just about a month, now. OK, I guess a month ago I was still technically in transit, living in the tents in Al Udeid Air Base in Qatar, floating around through empty days wondering what on earth I was supposed to do with myself. The funny thing is, that particular feeling has stuck with me ever since the night I left the Green Zone.

The only real goal I had, leaving, was to get OUT OF THERE. And then once I was out, what was I shooting for? Well, to get home, of course, and then to get my pets and my car from family out in Arizona. But as soon as I was back home with all my possessions and back in work for those funny short 40-hour work weeks… The boredom set in almost immediately. For all that there are joys to be had in wearing what you want when you want to, driving where you want when you want to, and being the only person in control of what you get to eat each day, those joys lose their thrill pretty quickly.

And here I am, something of an “area expert” on Iraq, a subject that no one seems to want to hear about. The typical question—often the only question—that I get from people about the deployment is “Wow, how was it being there? Weren’t you so scared?” How, exactly, do you explain in a social setting that, no, you live with the knowledge that a mortar could come in and send you to Kingdom Come just like people living in a large city know that they could very well be carjacked or mugged… or killed in a car accident by a drunk driver, for that matter, and while you’re aware of it, you don’t waste your time worrying about it.

What, too, is it that makes Iraq so uninteresting to everyone? I guess they think they’ve been there, done that, it’s all car bombs and terrorists… but it’s really not. And if the military people around me (I work on an Air Force base and most of the people I know are other Air Force officers) aren’t interested, you know that no one else is.

Well, it’s perplexing. I’ve found myself disturbed by this—and by being in a backwater setting where I’m so far out of the loop that all I can do is beg my still-deployed friends for the latest in what’s up. Which normally they can’t say much about because of security concerns. In my frustration, I found myself actually looking up deployments that I could be doing in the future. But in the future, none of this messing around with a six-month deployment! No, 365+ days is what I thought would be interesting…

Though I’m going to give myself some time on this. Maybe my Navy friends haven’t impressed on me well enough the “Never Again Volunteer Yourself” motto…

So being back home is a mixed bag. I didn’t realize, while I was there, that I was really enjoying being in the middle of everything, being in a place that has the eyes of the world fixed upon it. (It would take something really strange for that to happen to Montgomery.) Normal life, which sounded so wonderful in the extraordinary situation of Baghdad, seems flat and a little bit pointless, and I’ve had some days where it feels like all the interesting times have ended and I’m going to be stuck living a vapid, uninteresting life from now on. But I’m already working on that, putting together new goals and a new life plan—and I have Baghdad to thank for that. A lot of my priorities and values have been shifted around as a result of my time there.

Monday, May 21, 2007

When you’re standing in the middle do you know where you stand?

I was speaking with a Colonel the other night in the middle of a working haze. He stopped me and asked if I had taken a moment to consider the contribution I am making to our efforts on a larger scale. While I usually enjoy talking to this particular Colonel I was a bit pushed for time. All the same I could tell there was something on his mind. He is an analyst and one of the very few Colonels’ here in theater that actually gets me. He is also an Army “thousand pound brain” type. His point to me was meaningful. His question simple… “How do you know where you are in historical reference when you are standing the middle of historic precedence? The political pressures, security demands, economic hurdles and complexities in the Middle East put you square in the middle of chapters and pages yet to be written… and you my friend are helping to write those pages though you and I do not yet comprehend with what effect.” He then gave me several examples. In terms I could easily relate too… The great Navy battle of Midway… “Further research on the logs of the Japanese sailors showed they lost the battle before our dive bombers landed their first fatal shot. The Japanese ships were in disarray prior to bombers arriving to the scene that led to a swell of faltering effects. These building effects of confusion and misunderstanding of what they had actually gotten themselves into snowballed into a crushing, well documented defeat. At that moment in history the sailors living that engagement had no idea of the significance that battle or what it would later represent. That moment was just another hazy day of combat like the hazy day before and the hazy day after. It wasn’t until many years later the real significance came to light.” Ah Ha… cob-webs clear - light bulb brightens! He actually means I’m here making effect that may make a difference. He sees the dull glaze of my eyes brighten and focus. He was pulling me aside to try and boost my morale a bit in a way that only he knew how. “That’s right Hollywood – we may have already passed our Midway and not even know it. And you my young friend are quite possibly one of those dive bombers lying in on your target about to release your payload.” This was deep – Forced me to think… I’ve been driving in on that concept for days now. Expanding it - Compressing it - trying to determine just where I stand. Col W is heading out in a couple days after his year tour here. I’m gonna miss our profound conversations.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Staring at the Sun…

This morning my walk to work was surrounded by a beige world… not just a color but a thickness. You can tell a storm is coming. The air is full of… well dirt. It’s so substantial it actually filters the sun. I looked at the sun for minutes with no eye protection. It was this brilliant white orb just above the palm trees. I stood there and gazed in fascination for several minutes in awe that I wasn’t going blind. Sometimes the simplest things provide the most pleasure...

I’ve been in an email chain over the past couple of days with a good friend who informs me his boss (a marketing exec) wanted to do something for the troops. While the gesture seemed considerate, the offer of support was so disconnected from the reality of the needs and wants here that I was shocked and in disbelief. It was based on marketing analysis from the states that don’t work here. It was a real eye opener… It forced me to realize everything I now know and understand is completely disconnected from the world I’ve left behind. And that the reverse is true. The folks back home have little to no comprehension of the real situation here. It is jarring.
Things here are intense and we soldiers, sailors, airmen and marines are now immersed in the same anxiety and terror tactics the Iraqis have been forced to deal with for a lifetime. The folks back home are immersed in the cultural “comforts” of home and security that most here can’t even imagine.

My shocking realization more than anything tells me our time here is limited regardless of the actual gains we are seeing in Al Anbar and notwithstanding a real need to finish what we started. Despite any words to the contrary, Iraq is simply not a priority for the US public as a whole. They just do not understand the situation here or the ramifications of an early exit. Simply put, it does not directly affect their day to day lives now or in the short term foreseeable future. As a marketer I always have to ask myself if it will play in Middle America. For me I always base my assessment on my sister… She is my “US public.” A car bomb in a market is a horrible side note to her day and a group of soldiers blown up in a HUMVEE gives her a moment of grief and empathy - BUT - It does not directly affect her ability to get to her son’s soccer game. It does not directly interfere with her ability to keep up with what so-in-so is doing on her favorite Prime time TV show. It doesn’t even begin to get in the way of meeting up with her close friends to go shopping next week. Please understand this is not an indictment on her way of life… it’s just the reality.

The US is really too busy living their lives (rightfully so) and too tired of this struggle to be overly engaged in the fight. Unlike previous wars this operation is both too complex to understand and to disconnected to make any reasonable sense. (I believe less than 1% of the US public has any direct relationship to someone in uniform.) Meaning the US population as a whole is not as aware or mobilized for a real slog. For most life continues on at home as if there was peace on earth while both the people of Iraq and Coalition Forces struggle to figure out what their future really means.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

DUSTWUN

The work was already intense… But I was in the center of a fire storm and didn’t even realize I was tasked to drive it forward. Saturday morning early our troopers took a hit that would eventually turn into 3 soldiers Duty Status - Whereabouts Unknown… and the boss was chosen to speak to it. Of course he would be… He is the spokesman. This is crisis management. This is what the news looks for. This is what we’re hired for. For every minute you see or hear him in the media there are hours – no days – spent getting it all ready to roll. Typically this is the environment I thrive in. Sad part is… I was exhausted long before this event. And now I have to jump into action with even less sleep, less confidence, less... Trying to muster my faculties is nearly impossible - this place has made me dumb; literally. It’s difficult to clear the cob webs. It’s tough to see beyond the fog. I know I’m not providing my best work. I realized the other day I a have acquired an interesting stutter. A very intriguing side effect of my mind searching while my mouth moves in the general direction I thought I wanted it to go before the words come out. I just give up talking.
I can write something witty… I can provide some deep observation… I can try to convey what it means to be here… But I will pass. Just know that I am still here… I’m accustomed to the thunderous incoming booms… appreciate them in a twisted way actually. I am still trying to make a difference… a little dumber at some things… perhaps a little more indifferent to others… and surely a hell of a lot more defiant to the rest.

Monday, May 14, 2007

We interrupt this programming with...

We interrupt your regular programming to bring your attention to Military Appreciation Month of May.

Did you know that Congress has designated May as National Military Appreciation Month? It recognizes those on active duty in all branches of the services, the National Guard and Reserves plus retirees, veterans, and all of their families - well over 90 million Americans and more than 230 years of our nation’s history.

Be sure to thank and appreciate your fellow military folks, their spouses and families this month! To read more, please visit: http://www.nmam.org/about2.htm

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Oh how I (love) sand :-p

I woke up a couple of mornings ago and as I walked to work I realized I haven’t seen the outside in a while. More shocking was noticing the high of 106 degrees during the weather brief of our morning assessment. Its just barely May but already over 100… I then actually took notice during my walk to lunch, “Yeah – It’s getting a little warm.” The only thing that came to mind was welcome to Hell - cant wait til July!

OK to crush rumors... no we are not prohibited from blogging. Yes we have to watch OPSEC (which I regularly do anyway as a matter of, well, trying to stay alive) but otherwise it is business as usual. No the thing that keeps me from writing here is the fact that I no longer have any sort of life. I am in a constant battle rhythm. We have increased our ops tempo and I am at 100+%. Any writing I do now goes directly to our efforts to support the democratically elected Government of Iraq. A truly noble cause eh? So much has happened in the past 2 weeks but its nothing more than a blur. Old faces going – New faces coming. And me? Well I guess this is a promotion. The products I work on make international headlines and the people I work with are known far and wide. The levels of stress and urgency far greater than any Harry Potter release. But in the end I only hear two phrases constantly circling around my fatigued head…
1) No matter where you go… there you are - And
2) You can sleep when you’re dead.

I have so much more to tell but no time to do it so instead I leave you with a haiku from PGF written to me after the previous entry regarding my “fondness” of sand…

Yellow grains in sky
Mighty rocks brought to granules
Sadly, in my shorts.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

For the blog...

I know I owe an entry or at least 5 but...
The one thing more constant than change around here is a lack of time to adapt to it. Today I started a new position because my boss just finished his tour and rotated out. The weirdest thing I said all day is "I am PA for..." rather than my typical "I am Deputy PA for..." I've said Farewell to a lot of friends lately - 3 in the past week alone. Some day it will be my turn to roll out and I wondered what that looks like. So since I no longer have a life outside of my work I asked a close friend for support. I asked him to write me an entry on his perspective on being home. I give you Mr. BUA...


Back to the life I once knew
When Hollywood asked me to write an entry about being back, I must admit that I was not excited to do it. This is odd since I normally enjoy a chance to let the world know that they should rebel against the corporate, soulless, marketing drivel sold to the lowest common denominator at the highest profit. But I also knew that I would have to be sincere and I am not so certain I can do that.

Seeing the family again was great. It took a week in Kuwait and a week in Norfolk, but when I finally was released back into the wild I had the pleasure of seeing my wife and kids at the airport. When you are an individual augmentee, you don't get the big welcome home celebrations that you might see units receiving, but it is probably more personal since it is just you and your loved ones. My four-year-old son ran to me immediately and tried to tell me everything that has happened to him over the last year. My two-year-old daughter was a little more shy but eventually came over to me. She has grown so much, especially her hair. Mrs. Bua wanted to be the first to greet me, but knew the kids would have knocked her over if she got in the way. While I was gone my son took over as the man of the house. While he misses me, he doesn't want to give up the job. My daughter is now twice the princess she was before - which should make all of you soulless, Hollywood, corporate-marketing types happy because she will buy many things when she grows up.

People thank me for what I did. I feel odd about this and usually just shake my head and smile. I was a PowerPoint ranger at the embassy, not a Soldier in the street. People ask me if I am having trouble adjusting. I don't think I am. Loud noises do not remind me of explosions. I don't think my life is in danger of VBIED's on the beltway - but I do fear for my life because DC people drive like lunatics. The only thing I can say is that... well, I find life dull now. Not the wife or kids - they are always lively - but overall, life just lacks the sense of importance it had over there. And that leads me to my final two thoughts. The first is that we, as Americans, waste a vast amount of our time worrying about stuff that just is not all that important.

The second is born from the second most asked question (behind 'how are you adjusting'): what do you think we (America) should do over there? I have come to the conclusion that collectively, we as Americans do not get Iraq. We are woefully uneducated about what is happening, and we are not going to get smarter any time soon (the media is a capitalistic venture and there isn't profit in educational newscasts, so the best you will get is the explosion of the day). However, Iraq is such a complex place that even I find that my own mind changes as to what should be done. People ask me the question and I see the same look that they probably would love to give to our political leaders - it is a look of desperate need for someone to provide a real answer to a problem that has no clear solution. To people who tell me that we should pull out right away, I usually explain the dire results that could happen if we do. For the people who think we should stay the course, I spend most of the time explaining the shortfalls of the situation and my concerns about this current course. To those who think we should divide the country up, I explain how that would probably lead to more bloodshed. And when I am done people are disappointed with me because I did not spoon feed them an easy solution. After a while, people stop asking me about Iraq.

I was in a horrible place with some wonderful people, and I miss those people in ways I did not realize I would. Now I am with all of you not knowing how close an attack might be to those friends because the media shouldn't report it. I am wishing them all well and hope that you readers get your Hollywood back safely. So that is the last entry of Mr Bua. Far too long and definitely not light or pithy.

Take care and keep safe
Mr. BUA

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

I dread these days…

Once in a while I get a bit… hmm… for lack of a better word “melancholy.” These days are becoming increasingly rare because I am at least engaged in some pretty good work but they do creep up every now and then. On these days I really miss my friends, family and my home and I wonder why I’m here. The day is long… I am disinterested from my work… I usually have a head-ache – just shy of a migraine… and the crappy sand storms make the world outside puke yellow. And despite best efforts from “Pseudo Girl Friend” I still hate sand. All in all I just don’t feel like being here anymore. I look at the countdown calendar and it only depresses me more… even though I am well on my way. Nothing seems to work. All I want is to crawl into bed and sleep for the next 200 days. Do you think maybe hearing the “war is lost” has any thing to do with this?

Monday, April 23, 2007

What do you really know…

What would you say if someone was to tell you things are getting better here in Iraq? What if they told you the war is “Already Lost?” Would you inform them that there are places where kids are going to back to school and playing soccer on Saturdays? Would you remind them of over 100 victims from a recent car bombing incident? What would you say? Do you really know? If you think you know – How do you know? Where do you get your information? Who or what is your filter?

While the debates to bring troops home may be worthwhile and valid conversations, they should at least be based within the framework of our current situation. I and many of my co-workers here observe that most of the conversations both pro and con are no longer relevant to the current “boots on the situation” and are usually in a six month lag. Before the surge it could be convincingly argued that Baghdad was headed toward all out civil implosion and other parts of Iraq were in fact “lost.” But things here have changed some better some worse. There is actually a sense of reluctant optimism in the air that things can get better. Many people here are starting to feel just a little hope. I know… I met them out in the streets myself… I spoke with them… I heard it from their point of view. Unfortunately it’s because of that slight optimism that there are more contrary events. The enemy knows that any progress toward security threatens their position. High profile attacks are attempts to kill hope. Now the question is how hard is it to crush the human spirit?

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Shooting your own foot…

Every now and then you run up against a wall that you just can’t climb. You have a choice go back, go around, or tear it down. Earlier this week we hit just that sort of wall – literally. I knew there was trouble ahead when I received questions from the media about a press release distributed from one of the commands about “Gated Communities.” The release told the story of a long wall being built considered the “Central to the strategy of our new security plan” and that this great idea would permanently divide the Sunni from the Shi’a. Problem? - Hell yeah… For one its not accurate… this is absolutely contrary to every message I have heard from our commanders and/or work I’ve done here at HQ. I realized very quickly this was going to create a real challenge. I started raising flags with the team and the boss. You see Temporary Security Barriers are tactical walls built to protect the people in areas with increased or constant acts of violence, such as a marketplace recently hit with a car bomb. They are definitely not a strategy, not meant to be permanent and were never intended to segregate people based on religion. Barriers are put up because they are determined by local community leaders and the commanders on the ground to be a good temporary solution. After reading into all the elements I predicted this was going be an issue.

Sure enough a couple days later and it is a big topic with the media, the local community, the Government of Iraq and even the US public. We’re trying our best to provide correction but the story is out there and building a life all its own. Because everyone has an opinion, bias, or motive, something that was intended to be an innocent “Progress in Iraq” story quickly degrades into a tug-o-war of will. The facts - well they may be another casualty in the war of controversy. Unfortunately due to some oversight or misguidance somewhere down the chain this may be one case where we have to tear down the wall regardless of the benefits. Things are tough enough around here without miss-managing our own messages.

So why do I share this with you? I am fascinated by the power and limitations of communications and its ability to effect change. I am also intrigued by my ability to game this out to its ultimate conclusion (I figured out where this was going while I was responding to the queries.) I am so convinced I even put “my money where my mouth is” and accepted a cash bet on it. Hmmm…and based on an email I just received… looks like my wallet is gonna get a little heavier.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Oh the humanity oh the irony…

NBC’s decision to release a post-mortem video of a murderer only validates my concerns about Western Media. Where is the responsibility and compassion for the victims? Perhaps TV producers and their viewing public have become so desensitized that we no longer know right from wrong. Both sides are at fault. They are looking for ratings and they know everyone will watch. Have our lives become so mundane that we must focus incessantly on the tragedies of others? Just like “rubber-neckers” at an auto accident we are so consumed with seeing anyone else’s misfortunes.
More bizarre is the ironies generated from this tragedy… I sat in the boss’s office today watching a split screen of CNN and Al Jazeera.
CNN – “Breaking-news” of an incident that broke 3 days ago and has been running for not stop. (Not so breaking anymore)
Al Jazeera – 1 minute briefing of a mentally ill student and 29 minutes of other just as important headlines.

How about these Ironies:
Doesn’t the self-produced delusional diatribe released by NBC resemble the “last goodbye” martyr tapes released by Suicide Bombers? Tapes that Western Media typically refuse to broadcast while Arabic media quickly push out as credible?
Contrarian as usual Al Jazeera took the high-road: deciding not to broadcast the post mortem rantings of a murderer and condemning the environment that creates such horrific personalities. What happened to their Martyrdom?
What does it say when you can get more substantial, balanced, and responsible Western Media style news from a Pan-Arab outlet?

Other things to consider:
How many angry youths are now complimenting their weapons cache and disturbed attitudes with a “must-have” video manifesto?
How long until Al Qaeda takes responsibility and praises the actions of their South Korean “brother.”
Just how different are we from the Middle East?
In my desire to defeat extremist in all their forms I suppose I could travel half way around the world to fight fanatical young men with delusional thoughts acting out their homicidal ideas. Oh Wait?!?

Here’s an interesting idea… how bout for once we take a page from the people here in Iraq now do after they lose 200 + people in one day and just let the people in VA grieve without all the many weeks of intrusion and deconstructionist sensationalism.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Blood Money: turning tragedy into promotion

The happenings at VA-Tech only illustrate that Baghdad does not hold a monopoly on senseless acts of violence. Using Anna Nicole as an example we will have 24hr coverage of this incident for at least 3 months. Regardless it is sensational enough that it will take some of the pressure off us for at least a week - probably two. Now I haven’t had too much time to really watch the news on this event but I have seen more than enough of the over exposed “student come CNN reporter.” Someone who happened to be in the right place at the right time with his cell phone to capture a bit of ruddy video. Trust me it is little more than an audio file. Additionally I have seen this new pseudo reporter giving exclusive interviews of what he witnessed which appears to be little more then speculation on the events inside. He couldn’t see much… he was outside with his little cell phone. So why is he suddenly out there so visible as the lead spokesperson? I fully expect he now has an agent and a movie deal. Wait… Is that a new wardrobe? It’s a sad state of affairs that he is using a tragedy to get his 15 minutes.

I have also seen several clips of students wearing branded matching school T-shirts during interviews. I clearly understand that they wore the shirts for solidarity but it dawns on me that those shirts sole purpose are to market a product – VA-Tech. Now I love beating the drum as much as the next marketing guy, but come on… On this occasion I think a black arm-band or simple scarf provides a lot more taste. Wearing matching marketing T-shirts is just too much a slap in the face during what should be a grave and solemn moment. This isn’t a prep-rally after all.
There is a point were shameless marketing becomes inappropriate manipulation of unfortunate circumstance. Hopefully all this will backfire but unfortunately I’m not sure people will see through it. After all this is America; home of Obsessive Compulsive Viewers and the worlds best marketing and promotion minds. I know many of you (Mr. BUA) are saying Mr. Pot Meet Mr. Kettle. Notice you’re both the same color. OK I suppose I am somewhat responsible but even I have my limits.

I mean let’s think about the ramifications here. Strategically where is this going… marketing packages for post catastrophic events such as a high profile car bomb, suicide vest or IED?
“Joes Auto Repair – If we can fix it you don’t want it.”
“This vest sponsored by Al Qaeda custom clothing – serving Iraq, Iran and Syria since 2003.”
“Searching for a loved one? Google The worlds most powerful search engine.”

Perhaps this place has affected my already morbid sense of humor to a point of no return but now more than ever I feel some lines must never be crossed! Lines that I believe are starting to blur…

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

“Heart-wrenching”

I wrote a briefing that used that word… as in the challenges the Iraqi people face have been “heart-wrenching.” The word didn’t make the final chop. Quite possibly for the right reasons. I have no issue with having my work edited. As a matter of fact I welcome revisions. The final product, I feel, always ends up so much stronger when the team inserts their various experiences and perspectives. So today’s briefing went on without that word and as a matter of fact the engagement went great. More over the specific phrase, edited by the team, was so strong and pronounced that it become the quote used in many major outlets. So the team once again was right on the mark

After our engagement we came back to the office to find multiple car bombs with a tremendous amount of Iraqi casualties. As we always do, we jumped into action and begin to ply our trade. However I saw something in all of us. This event really spent us in some way. I thought about our recent experience out with the Iraqi people and I can say that for me this is the first time those numbers are not merely figures on paper. They represent real men, women, and children who were simply trying to live their lives. Soccer players. Studio technicians. Proud Moms. Eager Dads. And nosy smiling kids on their bikes. It all brings me back to one simple word… "Heart-wrenching!"

Monday, April 16, 2007

Vegas or Bust!

One thing that is certain around here is that everyday someone is coming and someone else is going; esp. those short tour Air Force types. You meet all sorts in this small constrained universe and sometimes for reasons explainable to few you build close bonds with folks that may very well last a lifetime. If you’ve read this blog for any length of time you’ve met a couple – Mr BUA, Free, Dave… Well the day has come to say Fair winds and Following seas to yet another such a friend. Tonight Capt Kj heads home. As has become a sort of tradition for me and since she is a glamorous blogger in her own right I asked her to guest blog on her exit. Based on our high-minded, intellectual conversations I fully expected a profound expose summarizing her time her. But true to her blogging form she gave me... Well she gave me exactly what she should have… A true Capt KJ Blog perfect for Glamour Magazine. See you on the other side sis...

OK... you asked for it. Not sure it's that funny, but anyway, it's a snapshot from the mind of a very strange and disturbed individual who uses wars as a way to recover from ended relationships.

My war of breakups

I thought that, in my guest blog for Hollywood, I'd address something sophisticated, in depth, and meaningful. Yeah, so for most people, this whole Iraq war has been about big things--oil, industry, dictators, trans-national terrorist groups, government conspiracies, impending fundamentalist theocracies (take your pick: Islamic or Christian), and that kind of thing. For me? Not so much.

I was discussing this with Hollywood and another friend a week or so ago, and realized that this war has been about my breakups. I remember the countdown to the Iraq War because I'd just broken up with a boyfriend the night before the ultimatum was announced. During the resulting sleepless nights, I kept the TV on and was quite cheered--OK, maybe the word is "distracted"--by signs of chaos and destruction... oh, excuse me, "shock and awe" that lit up our screens all night long during the initial phase of the war.

By the time the "good TV" portion of the war was over, I was done with the worst of the shock and awe of breaking up with the guy and I was ready to move on into the rest of my life. I was going to be moving (from Maryland to Ohio) in a couple months, so my time and energy went into that.

However, my involvement in the war personally was also precipitated by a breakup. This breakup was not my idea (yeah, he sprung it on me out of nowhere--from my perspective, that is), and it was correspondingly hard to get over. I moved (from Ohio to Alabama) and continued to find myself hung up on the guy, so much so that I never really moved into my apartment (after six months I still had unopened boxes sitting around and nothing actually on the walls), and it was getting into that time of year when, the year before, we'd been starting up our relationship...

So when the opportunity to deploy opened up, I jumped on it. I knew that, heck, if I can't avoid the one-year-anniversary of... you name it... then I'd at least be able to be somewhere that would keep me too busy to think about it. And so I landed in Baghdad. And at the year anniversary of my breakup, here in Baghdad, I thought about it briefly (I think?), and then moved on. A day later we had a rocket attack and I forgot all about it.

So this war has started with a breakup and then REALLY started for me with... a breakup. So I'm thinking I need a breakup to announce the end of the war. I'll work on that.

Capt. Kj

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Prison Break…(Part 2)

We pass the make shift check point as the “guards” stare at what I’m certain is an unusual site for them - two troops and an civilian in battle rattle carrying notebooks not rifles. Pen is mightier then the sword? Screw that… I miss my M-16A2 right about now. We continue our trek but now we have picked up a “tail” from the impromptu cp, who is making no effort to hide the fact that his is following us. He is complemented by several Iraqi’s jumping roof top to roof top pointing and watching. The two Iraqis hiding behind a car just ahead and to the right don’t make us feel much better. My little situational awareness voice is definitely talking to me.

Rules of Engagement are clear… Do not fire unless fired upon. I unsnap my 9mm and keep walking. No sense in at least not being prepared. We have a mission as silly as it may be. To be fair there is a large taskforce of US forces about a couple hundred meters before the initial check point we came too. So relatively speaking we are safe. The problem is that the large taskforce is about a couple hundred meters before the initial checkpoint we came through so we are currently isolated and, in a fire-fight, cut-off. The situation now seems so ludicrous the three of us can’t help but crack jokes. By now I’m thinking this is more like Donald Sutherland, Clint Eastwood, and Telly Savalis in “Kelly’s Heroes”… three soldiers behind enemy lines walking down an empty street to meet up with a waiting enemy.

As we come up to the car with the two guys “hiding” I am relieved to see they have a set of tools on the ground. They are fixing the damn car. Never mind that this car is blocking a road and their crouching tiger act looks as suspicious to us as we there stationary toting soldiers walking aimlessly down a deserted street are a curiosity to them… they are just fixing the damn car. Just when I think I can breathe the guy behind us moves up on us and points to us to turn down the road way at the car next to the two guys tinkering on the ground. As I turn the corner I look up to see… An Alley way… An Alley way with a bombed out building at the dead end… A bombed out building at the dead end with no windows and many potential sniper’s nests. Yep… We have now passed directly into hell and this is “Black Hawk Down!” Our impromptu guide urges us on so we tell him “fine you go first we’ll follow.” We walk another 200 meters to a hidden corner and there to the left is a street that leads to a large court yard with a crowd of people…

At first glance I’m taken a back unsure of the reasoning behind the horde. One thing is evident; they are as surprised to see us as we are of them. Just on the other side of the large gathering I can see the bosses’ truck so we continue walking forward. At least we’re in the in the right place. All is revealed as we clear the building on our right. Football… (Soccer) the rest of the world’s national past time. And it’s being played here in the middle of a city on a raised field with green grass - GREEN GRASS! I miss green grass. Talk about absolutely unexpected. This doesn’t look like a war zone at all. Everyone here seems to be having a good time… uh except us. We suddenly had a “One of these things is not like the others” moment. We remove our helmets and try not to look so threatening. We catch up with the rest of the team and begin the long day of production shoots and media engagements in production news studios that could have been Anywhere USA. We completed our work and headed back to the HMMWV where I greet a few children with a smile of confidence. Time to convoy back to the “Prison of Outlawed Children.”

Lesson learned? These are just people trying to live their lives the best they can in extremely adverse conditions. I won’t even try to deny there are dangers here but I guarantee there are places in the US where I would also prefer to have my battle rattle and a M-16 Musket.
The reality is people are really the same all over. Kids will be kids; soccer players - soccer players and families - families. And we all possess our own “special” eccentricities. But at the end of the day, we all just want a safe place to live, play and grow old with dignity. The fact they are out here living their life gives me hope that Fardh Al Qanoon really is making a difference.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Prison Break…(Part 1)

As the four happy children wave at me through thick window of the up-armored HMMWV’s it occurs to me that I haven’t seen children in a long time. By that I mean really noticed children; especially children who notice me and/or children who stop and interact with me. We don’t have many of them in the IZ. As a matter of fact, as I’m thinking about it, it’s sort of like that village in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang where children are banned. But these curious and friendly children get off their bikes, come to the windows and start talking and smiling with our second seater. It makes me think of the way I acted when I was growing up back home; a nosy brat. Only this wasn’t home… This was Downtown Baghdad – Actually this is better known as the infamous Haifa Street. And we are here to continue our mission of engaging Arabic media.

Today – we are scheduled for a co-hosted interview on Al Iraqiya with the spokesman for Iraqi forces in Baghdad and Fardh Al Qanoon; essentially my bosses counterpart. The trip out of the IZ starts out as usual but this time we're not headed down Route Irish… This time it’s the check point that my hooch mate, who works with IZ security, always describes as one of our more “interesting” areas. The moment we get past all the concrete fortifications I am amazed… Here is a bustling city. This can be Mexico, Czech Republic, Belize, or any third world country. A little more driving and we pass a large taskforce of US soldiers in their HMMWV’s followed up by an Iraqi CP. Razor wire… concrete barriers… crapped out buildings… Iraqi Police and Iraqi regular Army combined… this is an 80’s war movie set if I ever saw one.
This is where it gets interesting. We are told that we have to dismount and walk the rest of the way because our HMMWV’s can’t pass. The boss’s SUV with the Iraqi Gen gets the OK to pass through. We on the other hand get out of the perceived safety of our vehicle and start out on an adventure. Our convoy troops dismount as well and begin walking with us as an armed escort. We get maybe 50 meters before were told by an Iraqi Army Guard toting an old AK-47 that our M-16 musket carrying Personal Security Detachment can’t keep their long guns locked and loaded in this Iraqi controlled area. Hmmm… conundrum. By command orders they can’t be out here without their weapons locked and loaded. What we have here is a bit of a Baghdad stand-off as the boss’s vehicle is still driving on up ahead of us. We won’t keep him waiting. The three of us continue walking without our PSD. As we watch the boss’s vehicle turn a corner and pull out of site I start to have a real “Black Hawk Down” moment; a small under-armed detachment walking down a road to who knows where surrounded by who knows what. We come to the side street where the vehicle turned and there is bunch of ragtag civilians Iraqis types standing guard, more like lounging, at the entrance to this roadway. I wont bother to convey which militia they are most likely “unofficially” affiliated with but I’m will say its probably not that enthusiastic about our presence. Unfortunately there is no vehicle in sight - the SUV has sped off. We ask how far and get something that sounds like a mile… Whisky Tango Foxtrot?!?

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Now that unfortunately sounds more familiar…

It’s been a busy day at the ranch. We had a suicide bomber in at the Baghdad Convention Center and DOD announced possible extensions to our tours. This made for a lot of work in my new job. The crazy thing is that for the first time here I actually did a lot more of what I was trained for. Not only writing and prepping but also engaging. Going proactive. We got the chance to go forward and lead the mission. Now that, I believe, is making a difference.

The convention center isn’t close to us but we had to go to a building next door to do some business moments after the event. There was something very surreal about going next to the scene of a crime while it’s still in effect… and let’s be clear that’s what this suicide bomb is… It’s a crime. It may be an act of desperation but it is still a crime and not an honorable way to present your grievances. Regardless of a War on Terror or a conflict of ideas, murdering innocent civilians with a suicide vest is inexcusable. Having to research the investigation materials after being near by was that much more unsettling and bizarre. Now I’m not excited about the extensions… I want to see my friends and family as much as any other trooper and honestly I am pretty much tired of being here – cough and all. But other than these high profile attacks I can see small glimmers of hope coming out of the new security operations here in Baghdad. If things continue in a positive manner and three more months makes all the difference between continued atrocities or eventually stopping suicide car bombs and vests, then I suppose it’s a small sacrifice. Now if we can just get Iraq’s neighbors to play nice…

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Sounds unfamiliar…

During my fine stay here I’ve heard a lot of things. Low flying Helos, Car Bombs, rockets, mortars… you name it. However last night I heard something very unfamiliar. For a few minutes I thought it was a sustained attack somewhere in the city. It was an ongoing rumble; then another and another. Are we launching a full scale attack? If so that’s a lot of shelling for such a sustained sound. Even though I was trying to sleep – very late night – I had to investigate. To my surprise as I walked out of the hooch I saw brilliant flashes in the clouded sky and of course more of the deep sustained rumbling. Then came the rain! I love a good rain storm; especially at night. How amazing is it that I’ve been here so long and heard so many disturbing sounds that I forgot what thunder sounds like and what lightening looks like. I was so excited I just stood in the rain remembering a moment in my childhood when I stood out on the ranch next to my father as a storm blew in from the north. What a therapeutic moment.

The other great thing… All this water will pack down the dust that’s doing wonders for my “Baghdad lung.” So I thought… when I woke the next morning I walked out to a sky that was so burnt orange it would make most any University of Texas supporter truly believe God is a Longhorn. Unfortunately it just made me wheeze, choke and hack all that much more. So much for the therapy: Hook Em Horns!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I spose I’m becoming desensitized…

My R&R to Qatar was a good thing. The transit from here to there and then back again was not. You see mobility around here is not an easy thing and cannot be taken for granted. It’s not like a drive to your basic airport. It takes real work to come and go out of BIAP and the rest of theater for that matter. Convoys… Combat Landings… Constant changes to itineraries… all in the name of security. I can’t and won’t go into to much detail but the fact that it took roughly 40-48 hours to travel both ways with about 6 hours of heavily interrupted sleep on each side should give you some idea. At the end of the day it’s a real pain in the A**. The convoy down route Irish is an adventure all its own. I’m not sure I will never complain about the LA traffic to LAX again. At least I’m not being shot at (errr… at least most days).

On our trip back from Qatar we had a group of new Air Force types join our well rested group for transit. The AF folks have a very different rotation schedule than the other services. Usually half the time so they are always coming and going. Now we all wear uniforms… all have the same basic gear… wear the same battle rattle… basically we all look somewhat the same. So how could I tell they were “green?” They had that agitated nervous look of new troopers approaching the dark abyss of Iraq. I heard odd edgy comments, they made some stupid mistakes and they did everything (I mean everything) by the book no matter how frustrating and impractical it may be. Yeah… 10 seconds and I had this group sized up as fresh replacements. For some reason I a couple of them really caught my eye. Hmmm I wonder… Then I reflected back to 4 months ago when I was making the same trip and how our inbound group of replacements acted the same way; tense, anxious, and definitely impractical to the point of stupidity. Now I’m an old hand with this silly system. I don’t wear all the unnecessary gear, don’t bother with the much of the school trained non-sense that doesn’t apply to the reality of boots on the ground, and realize that if it’s my time then what the hell – It was a great ride.
Most telling was the convoy ride to the IZ. A few of these folks were in my ride and they were huddled up with a real nervous white knuckle grip on the chairs and a look of quiet terror in their eyes; hiding from the windows hoping not to see anything yet anxious for a first peak of anything. Yeah – I recognized that look too. Dave and I both had it on our first trip down Irish too. Desert training really terrorizes the hell out of you and then when you’re in the real moment you are so geared up for the worst. When nothing happens you’re almost let down. Now I’m riding 2nd chair… looking out the window acting spotter… and carrying on light conversation with the driver relaxed and ready to roll if needed. I’m aware but comfortable - This is just what it is. Even when we have an unscheduled delay and sit highly exposed for several minutes No biggie – It’s just the job. Sides I’m 46 hours into this journey and it’s really late or early. I don’t much care about the boogie man - I’m just eager for my bed.
12 hours later I return to the office… Odd as it seems I’m actually happy to be here. And look over there - The couple of replacements that caught my attention many hours before. Some how I just knew they were our replacements I don’t know how - I just knew it.

Yeah I’ve changed and in a few months these green folks will see and experience things that will change them too. It’s the nature of the beast.