I dread these days…

Once in a while I get a bit… hmm… for lack of a better word “melancholy.” These days are becoming increasingly rare because I am at least engaged in some pretty good work but they do creep up every now and then. On these days I really miss my friends, family and my home and I wonder why I’m here. The day is long… I am disinterested from my work… I usually have a head-ache – just shy of a migraine… and the crappy sand storms make the world outside puke yellow. And despite best efforts from “Pseudo Girl Friend” I still hate sand. All in all I just don’t feel like being here anymore. I look at the countdown calendar and it only depresses me more… even though I am well on my way. Nothing seems to work. All I want is to crawl into bed and sleep for the next 200 days. Do you think maybe hearing the “war is lost” has any thing to do with this?

What do you really know…

What would you say if someone was to tell you things are getting better here in Iraq? What if they told you the war is “Already Lost?” Would you inform them that there are places where kids are going to back to school and playing soccer on Saturdays? Would you remind them of over 100 victims from a recent car bombing incident? What would you say? Do you really know? If you think you know – How do you know? Where do you get your information? Who or what is your filter?

While the debates to bring troops home may be worthwhile and valid conversations, they should at least be based within the framework of our current situation. I and many of my co-workers here observe that most of the conversations both pro and con are no longer relevant to the current “boots on the situation” and are usually in a six month lag. Before the surge it could be convincingly argued that Baghdad was headed toward all out civil implosion and other parts of Iraq were in fact “lost.” But things here have changed some better some worse. There is actually a sense of reluctant optimism in the air that things can get better. Many people here are starting to feel just a little hope. I know… I met them out in the streets myself… I spoke with them… I heard it from their point of view. Unfortunately it’s because of that slight optimism that there are more contrary events. The enemy knows that any progress toward security threatens their position. High profile attacks are attempts to kill hope. Now the question is how hard is it to crush the human spirit?