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Thursday, March 08, 2007

Hollywood - this is crap, but it is the best I have in me.

Due in part to the success of an earlier entry, Captain KJ and I requested that Mr BUA write one final guest blog a couple of days ago, before his planned departure. After many hours of packing far too much Army issued gear and preparing for a journey home that takes way too much time to complete, he spared a few moments to throw something together. With that I let him leave you with his own parting words…

There is something bittersweet about leaving. As you head out the door you know you will miss many of the people, but at the same time you really do not want to stay a second longer. Anyone who spends time in the military learns that there are always new people rolling in and veterans heading out. It is a funny thing -- one day you are the replacement learning the ropes and the next thing you know, you are the guy who everyone goes to for information. How did this happen? Hollywood doesn’t even realize it but he already is developing his crustiness and will soon be looked upon as one of the veterans here. Eventually he too will ponder what he will take away from this place. I know after I leave here the dark times will fade and only the good memories will remain. It is our way of survival in life. Somewhere in those memories will be Hollywood, Captain KJ, John Squared, GSL, the future congressman, Lee Marvin, Ninja Squirt, TAM, Swordman, and a host of other colorful and entertaining characters. There will be happy dances and trips to the DFAC for some pie and coffee at midrats.

In my time here I have watched more news than ever before. I have gotten to know all the cable news anchors. And I must tell you quite frankly – news in America doesn’t really tell you much. It focuses on three or four key stories and runs them into the ground. And many of those stories hardly qualify as news. I now know all about Anna Nichol Smith’s death, Britney shaving her head, American Idol and a great variety of other stories that really don’t impact my life in any way.

I know Hollywood is hoping I would write some sort of spiffy send off. Truth is I am tired at this point – mentally exhausted from trying to understand this place called Iraq – and I just want to go home to my wife and kids. I wish I could tell you I did something exciting, but I didn’t do much that would even make for an interesting made-for-TV movie. Still, if I made the place a little better, I think that was enough. I will save spiffy for the marketing man. I have to go find a cure for a brain cloud.

Be well and support your troops.

Mr Bua

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Fair Winds and Following Seas…

On my arrival here at HQ I was introduced to Mr. BUA (One LTjg Navy Type) and subsequently informed (after the fact) he was to be my sponsor, at least for the rest of my initiation. This was the beginning of a profound friendship both adversarial and supportive in nature. (Just for the record Mr. BUA’s name comes from his tireless often times thankless job; The Battle Update Assessment.) Though here only four months, he was wise enough to guide me in certain directions and provide coverage from things a green-horn couldn’t begin to comprehend. And while he tried his best to assist me in the ways of this new world, he also quickly became aware of just how much a handful I actually am - as in a lot. For his patience I will always be grateful. Thank you Mr. BUA for a job well done… I couldn’t have had a better sponsor.
Today was the last day of his 6 month tour and its time for me to say farewell to yet another shipmate and friend. I will miss our MidRat debates - our high-brow discussions over low-brow marketing techniques and profit vs. art. I will miss the long “laughing till we turn blue” conversations over the observations of folks who, while at war, are really not at war at all. I will definately miss the many back and forth references to Joe vs. the Volcano. "Where is my head? Where is my head?..." And I will miss the way you just make fun of my Wile E Coyote impersonation: Running out in the lead - sprinting off the cliff - turning back in sudden realization of my mistakes - holding up a “Yikes!” sign - and then waving as I shoot to the earth to the inevitable sound of “Poof”. Fair Winds and Following Seas Mr. BUA – Our paths will cross again.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

What do you do with a 100lb. brain?

I’m starting to feel stabilized in my new position. There are a couple of hick-ups here and there but all in all, complaining helps no one and only serves to create discontent among the troops. The one thing I’ve learned in my short time in the military is change is constant. I know enough by now that if I’m at all ”comfortable” in my position then something’s wrong and change is imminent. Typically I embrace change but the trouble I’m finding here is that my situation tends to go from bad to worse and after 7 moves in 2.5 months I’m more than a bit gun shy. My recent motto has become NAVY - Never Again Volunteer Yourself! A slogan I’ve learned from my Academy grad friends. Today I was informed by my boss that I am being head-hunted (yet again) by another group. She’s not too excited… Not all that sure I am either. I am a good fit for Strategy and Long Range Planning. Sure enough, I was called into a room and interviewed for a new job. While it sounds exciting and it gets me into the fight I am still reluctant to leave my folks behind and as I’ve mentioned before, I’m already burned out. All I hear is that these guys are the elite group reporting directly to the “Big Guy” and that they tend to work longer hours than anyone in the group. Not a good thing to hear when you’re already surging 16 to 18hr days. The trade off? These guys are in the fight. There is potential for travel and yes I saw their products… They are really good. The position affords me an opportunity to execute some of our strategies, gets me out and about among the Iraqi people, challenges me to grow in other areas and puts me in a position to replace a PhD. Now titles don’t mean much to me but it is flattering they chose me as a possible candidate to replace that sort of 100lb brain. I’ve met the guy and believe me he’s really cool but I have to add… who ever heard of an Army PhD? That’s sort of like military intelligence - it’s an oxymoron. I am too tired to make the decision. I fall back to the needs of the services – I leave it to senior leadership decide where I provide the best bang for the buck!