DUSTWUN

The work was already intense… But I was in the center of a fire storm and didn’t even realize I was tasked to drive it forward. Saturday morning early our troopers took a hit that would eventually turn into 3 soldiers Duty Status - Whereabouts Unknown… and the boss was chosen to speak to it. Of course he would be… He is the spokesman. This is crisis management. This is what the news looks for. This is what we’re hired for. For every minute you see or hear him in the media there are hours – no days – spent getting it all ready to roll. Typically this is the environment I thrive in. Sad part is… I was exhausted long before this event. And now I have to jump into action with even less sleep, less confidence, less... Trying to muster my faculties is nearly impossible - this place has made me dumb; literally. It’s difficult to clear the cob webs. It’s tough to see beyond the fog. I know I’m not providing my best work. I realized the other day I a have acquired an interesting stutter. A very intriguing side effect of my mind searching while my mouth moves in the general direction I thought I wanted it to go before the words come out. I just give up talking.
I can write something witty… I can provide some deep observation… I can try to convey what it means to be here… But I will pass. Just know that I am still here… I’m accustomed to the thunderous incoming booms… appreciate them in a twisted way actually. I am still trying to make a difference… a little dumber at some things… perhaps a little more indifferent to others… and surely a hell of a lot more defiant to the rest.