If you label me you negate me…

Early on in this strange trip I was given a moniker. I call it a moniker rather than a call sign (I have a couple of those too) because it's not used to get my attention, rather it is used to describe me. I don’t like this brand because I figure in this environment it is a limiting factor. In "boot" camp I was labeled "one intellectual type - Hooah"

Intellectual?!? What the Hell? I realize the folks mean this as a compliment but for some reason it disturbs me. It feels like an insult… In this testosterone driven atmosphere it singles me out from the rest of the team and more to the point it doesn’t match the internal visualization I have of myself. I'm just a good ole cowboy from Texas; brought up on a ranch and taught to be a hell raiser. Where is this coming from? I tell my girlfriend this story and she laughs at me saying "It’s meant to be a flattering-positive remark silly… And honestly Breedlove you are really-really smart!" DAMN! I know this doesn’t bode well for what I intended to do in the military. I know if my personality conveys "intellectual" I'm not going forward with many of my shipmates. You see "intellectuals" don’t go tip of the spear… "Smart people" work in think tanks at HQ strategizing courses of action for those who go forward.

Cut to now: Baghdad Iraq - HQ. Today I sit at a round table in a meeting. A strategy meeting – A strategy meeting convened with other folks labeled as the "Smart people" – The "Smart people" whose only job is to solve problems – trying to solve problems to bureaucratic nightmares that have no clear answers. I day dream… I day dream back to a day when I thought I was going to be a media liaise action officer assigned to embed reporters in the field… back to a day in boot before I was labeled. I miss my M-16.