Life in the land of Hooah. You’re in the NArmy now Sailder!

The barracks – this is no way to live a “quiet” or private life. On a nightly basis the loggers start their chain saws by the dozen and methodically cut down entire forests. Coupled with a few nightly conversationalists (the kind that talk in their sleep) we have a regular industrial noise hazard zone. It’s so loud in fact my ear plugs hardly provide any comfort. I had better sleep on the 2nd Deck of an aircraft carrier - one deck below the arresting wires.

When we received our clothes yesterday, we turned them back over to someone to sew on the name tags and the insignia. (You know- the ones we all stood in line for 3hrs to buy? See 03 DEC entry). That said we are now in our PT gear and wearing our new body armor and Kevlar helmets. Silly doesn’t event describe the look; something between uncomfortable squids and rebel fighters from the Bosnian conflict. More than once I was called “The Sniper” from the Owen Wilson film “Behind Enemy Lines”

We line up in what can hardly be called a formation and receive our assignments.
Drill Seargent (DS) “3rd Platoon Attention” :
Squids (Us) “Night stalkers”
DS: “NOT LOUD ENOUGH! Maybe you’re not awake yet!?! Maybe you need some encouragement to get the blood boiling!?! Around here we boil our blood by doing 50 push-ups I say again 3rd PLATOON ATTENTION!”
Us: “NIGHTSTALKERS!” We must be around 110 decibels - We may not be able to create a formation worth a damn but we sure as hell aint stupid. I don’t know a squid one who wants to do push-ups in this cold weather wearing this crazy body armor.
DS – “Company… A TEN CHUN” :
US – CHARLIE ROCK! (This is our response to the company commander)
DS – Rock Steady
What an odd form of communication...

I suppose I am officially in the Army now. And there is an entirely new set of customs and lexicon for me to take on. Its enough that I need to got to another country and learn their customs and learn Arabic and Farsi but needing a translation guide for the US Army is just crazy. Luckily these knuckle daggers have a limited vocabulary. Just about anything can be summed up with one word; When in doubt just say “HOOAH"(Low guttaral tone is best). - an appropriate response to just about anything.

For your convenience I have created a dictionary for other new terms:

Too Easy, Hooah? – Do you understand?
Good to go – All clear
General Issue - One size (does not) fit all. Usually provided by the lowest bidder.
Johnny Go Fast Gear – anything but the general issue gear "this stuff is cooler than your one size fits all crap." Usually available from the Highest quaility Highest priced provider.
Type – General Issue descriptor used to follow every noun. i.e. One Public Affairs “type” One Navy Officer “type”
Stand by to Stand by – hurry up and wait (any typical Army day)
We impart knowledge: prepare to be impressed – Drill Sergeants are smarter that you.
Skull busters - bullets
"Throw some Skull busters down range hooah"– shooting bullets (by the way this activity is a lot of fun)
High Speed / Low Drag – something far to cool to be good for you or me.
Battle Buddy/Combat Buddy – A shipmate or partner who keeps your 6 safe. (Watches your ass)
Trooper – Um… I spose thats me... I spose I aint your standard issue sailor type anymore. (smirk)
Hump that gear Trooper - Move that heavy bag of unecessary GI issued gear from one place to another.
Field Spouse – Someone to screw around with in the field (See Battle Buddy)
Power Point Ranger – Army’s New High Speed Low Drag special operator – highly trained soldier prone to combat injuries such as paper cuts and carpal tunnel. Purple Hearts authorized in combat areas.
Go to War weapon – Your new significant other. The weapon you are assigned to hump to theater. Note this thing never leaves your side without some sort of security watch i.e. I’m married to my weapon till death or divorce do us part. abandoned weapons = base/camp lock downs! serious stuff.

More to come - this is an ever growing list. ;-P