Happy Halloween!

Whether it's taking an inebriated stagger down 6th street, dancing (drinking) at the Goth clubs in the Montrose, scrutinizing "fashions" of the West Hollywood parade, strolling leisurely down Kalakaua Ave or just hosting a costume party with friends – Halloween is something I thoroughly celebrate. In fact, as most of my close friends and family can attest, it is my absolute favorite Holiday. So as I spend this Halloween lurking the Embassy Ballroom in a eerie Baghdad Palace, I want to take a moment to wish you all the scariest and spookiest of Halloweens! And in the spirit of this Holiday I wish to haunt you with this extremely frightening thought – As you may have figured I'm dressed in my usual "Sand Pirate" costume. More significantly…this year I'm armed and dangerous!

BOO!

It may be about the journey and not the destination but I REALLY want to go there.

I walked by the periodical shelf today and noticed a well worn Wine Spectator magazine. I don't typically take notice of these things as I haven't had the time to enjoy "extracurricular" reading. If it doesn't involve a clip about developing political and economic civilization or concerted attempts to blow it up then it's just not in my preview. This time however I was intrigued by one of the cover segments which included "good-eats" in LA and exploring the south of France. I picked up the magazine for a quick browse and couldn't put it down. Besides reviews of traveling for the palate, chocolate and wine pairings, and all around gourmand interests, the articles on the LA restaurants really caught my attention. The picture of a sushi plate included with a review of a Japanese restaurant named Hokusai nearly floored me…The assessment on the Omakase menu left my mouth watering. I was instantly taken back to an amazing dining experience in Kyoto Japan. I could visualize it… taste it… For five minutes I was back in the small traditional eatery in a far off place. I want to go to Hokusai when I get home if for no other reason than providing me with a 5 minute respite from Baghdad. I considered writing down the name of the restaurant and or emailing it to myself so I wouldn't forget it but then I did something a bit out of character… I desecrated the magazine. I ripped out the page, folded it up (careful to not to put creases in the picture of the beautifully displayed sashimi plate) and put it in my wallet. As selfish as it may be the name was just not enough. I want this article and associated picture to serve as a personal memento of where I've been and where I'm going.

Well now… This is a day to remember.

I woke up to a rumble… then another… and another. It's been relatively quiet around here lately so this break in the norm seemed a bit extraordinary. I had to take a look outside to see for myself. I was pleased and amazed to see cloudy skies and big rain drops. Not much but enough to realize that yes there is such thing as weather beyond a cloudless sunny 95+ degree day.

The words were as unbelievable as they were shocking… "LT you may want to get used to the idea of leaving Iraq a little earlier than we anticipated." The comment was so unexpected it fell flat like a dull thud. Our admin officer shuffled there in front of me looking for a reaction. "Front office isn't too happy about it either…" she trailed off still searching for something. My experience with the orders process thus far has been "unpredictable" to put it mildly. It only stands to reason that my leaving would become just as disorderly as my arriving. I gave her my now typical wry smile, "Hmmm… let me think about that for a moment. OK I'm used to the idea. Now let's make it happen." And there I was… standing in disbelief in a now empty hallway, wearing a goofy smile, and confirmation that this extreme summer camp actually has an end date…a date I can mark on the calendar. Barring any "unforeseens" I am assured I will be back in the states in time for the holidays.

And tomorrow I go on Pass for a few days… Yeah – this has the makings of a good day.

Just so you know…

Pardon the delays but recent changes to the systems have made posting hit and miss. As it is these postings are published via email. I will do my best to get a new update mailed shortly. Until then my best wishes to everyone.

Hmmm it was interesting while it lasted…

My how time flies… it's been nearly 3 months since I left for leave. After covering positions for several folks taking their own leave, I was asked what I want to do next. "Hmmm.... that's a new one… what do I want to do? Really?" It didn't take long to determine. Having worked every position here I requested a job that would provide some new challenges, stimulus and some professional/personal growth; all very reasonable. More importantly, the area I want to support just had a 95% turn-over and needed the guidance of an "old-timer." Well - what was old is new again and I'm back in my old job... by name requested; long on hours, short on sleep, engaging the media at every turn. Sure its "front-line" stuff but honestly I can't say as I missed it that much. It's become so second nature it sort of bores me. Well… not sort of… I just don't find it that challenging. Additionally while most folks here vie for face time with General Officers, I'm way over it. For me it just means more sleepless nights. I saw this coming… there's been so much turn-over in the office I knew sending me away was a pipe-dream that the Sr. Leaders could ill afford but I suppose they had to ask. It wouldn't be long before they figured out the shortcomings for themselves. "You have earned the right to go where you want to go and we don't think for one minute that you wouldn't make a substantial addition to the other division…Unfortunately LT you're too critical to our mission." And there it was…with my typical wry smile and a chuckle I sort of blurted out my first thought "Boy are you guys in trouble… No worries Sir, keep in mind ya'll asked me what I wanted to do so I told ya… Needs of the service dictate you need me here… how high do you need me to jump."

So what do you do when life tosses you lemons? Well for me I do the following: One – I find new ways to challenge myself and two - I always start making myself less "critical." A bit of the ole "what happens if I get hit by a bus?" sort of thinking (Or tank/HMMWV/Rocket is probably more appropriate out here). Following in the old mantra of See - Do – Teach, I have taken it upon myself to teach the new folks (or anyone who will listen) to assume these responsibilities too…much to everyone's surprise. Curiously, it seems most of my associates are threatened by the idea of passing on their learning's to others. For my part… boy do I like to share.

And don't call me CHOPS…

As the title infers, the Boss returned and resumed his high profile "in the line of fire" position. I think the most challenging aspect was dealing with frustrations brought about by new folks who are unaccustomed with our environment. They are forced to learn the difference (on the job) from what they believe they are supposed to do with the reality of what we are actually doing. Theories break down in the world of operations. What is practiced in the peace-time world doesn't quite work in the combat arena. That coupled with a lot of accountability and little executional fire power to affect a free-media space makes for a very difficult work situation. I am happy for the opportunity to walk in the boss's shoes but trust me when I say he has mighty big boots to fill. The bad news – unfortunately it's not quite the same job he left; too many new "Good Idea Fairies" muddying the water. The good news – fortunately it's not the same job he left behind and the days off and PT time stuck. I think I even managed a way for the Boss to get some of that free time; Necessity is the mother of invention. I only hope I didn't let him down.

After my first day off in over 8 weeks I woke up this morning and realized my time here really is growing shorter by the day. And for the first time in Baghdad I feel relaxed and ready for the day. Wow - that only took 10 months.

"Morning Chops…"

Just the sound of those two words catches me off guard. I never expected to hear that title directed toward me…

A quick rundown of where I am now…After returning from leave, I was requested to cover some gaps for a few battle buddies which required taking on night shift operations. Rather ironic since one of my reasons for going on leave to Europe was to avoid the turmoil of a time shift from a 12 to 14 hour time difference. Oh well. I quickly adapted and became a creature of the night. Let me tell you there is something refreshing about living in the desert and working at night during the hottest months of the year. I flourished at this job. Although I will admit waking up to light and going to sleep to light was a little disorienting on the whole I took to this shift like a fish to water. After a couple of weeks of night shift one of my favorite Lt Cols – "Boss", who entered theater a couple of weeks after me, pulled me aside to let me know it was his turn to take leave and that he recommended to Sr. leadership that I take his post during his absence. I laughed at him and told him what a funny joke. "Boss… didn't I mention I am enjoying the low profile night job?" He wasn't joking… "It's an easy job – you'll love it…" Famous last words… "Sir, I'm an LTO3 type… You want me to manage my seniors?" Now he started to laugh quite jovially… " Hollywood – Tell me the last time you didn't boss your bosses around? Last I checked you wear 2 stars by proxy." Grrrrrrr… I was really hoping to ride out this fun gig for at least another week. No way around it I don't only make waves the waves often come back to over take me. I suppose taking it easy here is just not in my cards. I am now Chief of the Media Operation Center. People call me Chief or CHOPS (Chief of Operations) or just Boss. I have a fair-sized staff of people doing extended hours of busy work running on little sleep 24hrs a day and many Sr. Officers circling my desk by the minute. For better or worse this is a high visibility position and I suppose the most interesting aspect is the look of surprise whenever a new visitor sees me behind wheels. It's something I'm sort of used to by now. Most of my colleagues begin their introductions with "Don't mind his rank; he's a reservist with tons of experience…

Unfortunately, as I expected, one of those perfect storms was brewing – a significant portion of the staff and Sr. Leaders including Boss's supervisor were replacements that were rotating in. First task – train these new folks (including the three new Sr. Supervisors and my night counterpart) in their jobs while maintaining high ops tempo. One of the unforeseen benefits of being "an old-timer" is becoming the basis of corporate knowledge and default teacher. (Read: Grrrrr 2.0) My second and more important task – build morale. I approached this job as only a Jr. Officer can – with a "blissful ignorance" and a "better to beg forgiveness than ask permission" attitude. I reenacted the one day off rotation system and mandated the daily 2 hrs of PT time away from your desk schedule. These benefits were turned off a few month's ago by Boss's outgoing supervisor because of another restructuring. No one took the time to think about turning it back on. Why not take advantage of a regime change to re-enact good solutions? Mostly I just did it to look out for my folks the way Boss looks out for me. The smiles on everyone face tells me their morale is getting better already. It was even funnier for everyone to hear the Sr. Supervisor tell folks we were implementing a 1 day off and 2 hrs a day benefit a week after it had already taken effect. I'm guessing this is one time I won't have to beg forgiveness.

As it stands the Chief position doesn't benefit from the 1day off - 2 hours of daily PT. They have to pull watch duty 24x7 with their night ops counterpart in order to stay on top of operations and the world media and manage crisis communications. They are "the glue that holds this place together." Suffice it to say I'm eager for the Boss to return.

“Alright – I’ll see you back home…”

I recently received a chain email from a friend that caught me by surprise. I typically disregard most junk/joke emails, sending them straight away to the delete bin, but as I read the list of bullets on this particular message, I realize they are not only quite humorous but (for better or worse) amazingly relevant. As a matter of fact the quote in the subject line is not in reference to a future meeting in the States… Oh no… Rather it’s something my roommate and I tend to say these days in endearing reference to a certain 16X8 metal container typically used for field construction offices. We now prefer to call it… well… “Home.” All the same I decided to share… Enjoy.

"You know you've been In Iraq Too Long If..."

Generally:
• You call your tent (trailer/connex if you're lucky) "Home".
• You start to think "it's not so bad here".
• You say "this place sort of grows on you".
• You say, "It feels cooler today" and find out that the temperature is 110.
• You get excited at the idea of "ICE".
• Apaches excite you much more than Blackhawk's or Kiowa's.

Armaments:
• You don't jump when a door slams or someone drops something.
• You aren't alarmed when every second person you see has a gun or two or three.
• You kick the M-16 on the floor aside without a second thought when you sit down in the Dining Facility.
• A Glock 9MM on a lady's hip is considered sexy.
• Mortars and rockets are "Okay" compared to vehicle bombs.
• You can measure distances based on explosion sounds.
• When a "Red Alert" sounds and you're leaving a DFAC, you would rather go back in and have more coffee instead of seeking shelter in a bunker.
• You know the difference in sound between "Incoming" and "Outgoing".

Entertainment:
• You get excited at the prospect of seeing the latest gun camera videos.
• $5.00 for a DVD is a little pricey….especially if there is only one movie.
• You are disappointed if you can't find a new movie a day after it is released in theatres stateside.
• Sitting around with your coworkers talking about different ways to be killed is considered "Water Cooler Talk".

Convoys:
• You are soothed by the sounds of helicopters flying six feet over your trailer.
• Bullet holes in the cab of your vehicle are no longer alarming.
• Vehicle selections consist of "Up Armored or Not" not Volvo or Mercedes Benz.
• Convoys consist of as many extra Hummers and large caliber weapons as the Convoy Commander can find.
• Driving on the sidewalk is normal.
• Hit-and-Run fender benders are treated as mere warnings.
• You get upset that you don't get "C-130" Frequent Flyer Miles.
• Your carry-on luggage includes a flack jacket and helmet.
• Driving through the traffic circle of death has lost its thrill.

Hygiene:
• You enjoy waiting 45 minutes for the toilets to refill.
• Its ok to skip brushing your teeth because the tent/trailer is out of bottled water.
• It's ok to brush your teeth with the brown water that comes out of the faucets.
• Flies don't even hang around anymore.
• You have your own roll of toilet paper stashed in your tent/truck/ pack.
• A shower with water that is either too cold or too hot and contains no mosquitoes is a priceless unattainable luxury.

Surroundings:
• "Texas Barriers" are something other than a device to keep Texans Out.
• "Jersey Barriers" are something other than fences to keep Holsteins away from Jerseys.
• You get excited with the presence of clouds in the sky.
• The security guards are Peruvian, Georgian, Ghurka, South African, etc, etc, etc.

Dining:
• You look forward to Mohammad's Mango ice cream as the treat for the day.
• Powdered eggs taste don’t taste too bad.
• You consider plastic ware the Palace China.
• You can distinguish inherent qualities of various plastic utensils.
• The quality of the plastic utensils becomes a hot dinner topic.
• The quality of the plastic utensils becomes a cold dinner topic.
• The quality of the plastic utensils becomes a leisurely anytime topic.
• Lettuce for your salad is a luxury.
• You have become to believe that ham should be grey in color.
• No matter what animal you are eating, it will be flavored with curry.
• Going to another mess hall is an adventure.
• Putting Thousand Island dressing on you hamburger bun instead of mayo/mustard/catsup is normal.
• You automatically pick up two plastic forks whenever beef is on the menu.
• A McDonald’s Quarter Pounder with Cheese meal is a gourmet delicacy
• You accept the fact that fajitas do not require tortillas.
• Sliced hot dogs on a pizza served in a KBR DFAC is good eats.
• If you can not decide if you are going to leave a brownie and some milk during a mortar attack.

Fashion:
• You think dessert combat boots look great with shorts.
• Sand between your thong sandals actually feels good.
• Buzz cuts begin to look stylish (even on girls).
• You can recognize 12 different camouflage patterns.
• You've given up on shoe polish.
• T-shirts at the PX are: M, L, XL, and XXL & KBR.

Living Conditions:
• You get a big smile when you see your pressed clothes at the KBR laundry.
• You get a bigger smile knowing they didn't lose your laundry.
• You get the biggest smile when you get back someone else's laundry and now you have more underwear than before.
• You think the bullet holes in the roof of your trailer is just another form of ventilation.
• You get upset because the post office won't ship your looted artifacts.
• You haven't had water from anything other than a bottle for months on end.
• You consider broken sandbags just a new beach expansion.
• The idea of a double wide trailer is only for the very rich and powerful.
• Forgetting your military ID makes you feel naked…but pants are optional.
• "Only one rocket has hit camp" is excellent news.
• Cardboard boxes have become substantial pieces of furniture.

Communications:
• Stars & Stripes seem to be a liberal newspaper.
• It feels normal to have to run outside to make a cell phone call.
• You call your coworkers as soon as new T-Shirt patterns arrive at the PX.
• "Can you hear me" takes up 50% of your cellular telephone conversations.
• Your conversations are sprinkled with "Roger that" and "Good copy".

Rebel???... or Leader?

It wasn’t the first time I’ve heard the name…
In fact it’s nothing new. People have labeled me a “Rebel” for the better part of my life. It’s a term of endearment as far as I’m concerned… I embrace it… consider it a compliment even. Perhaps it’s my innate curiosity or maybe it’s simply my stubborn and ornery Texas nature… but I am always reluctant to blithely fall into every line because others are doing so. If you ask me it’s far too easy (and potentially dangerous).

In this particular case I don’t think the comment was meant as a compliment. My quizzical response of “…And?” was followed up by a “But you’re in the Navy…” as if this were all the excuse in the world to justify just doing what I’m told. My response? “I’ve never just done anything… I’ve always pondered the resulting effect of any action.” Most of histories greatest leaders and innovators do or did the same. Many of them were labeled rebels, rabble-rousers and trouble-makers. Yes I am in a military establishment… my cohorts and I have the ability to impact (positively and negatively) others lives and circumstances. Therefore it is not only a responsibility but a requirement to ensure we evaluate a situation and respond with the most appropriate action. Sometimes that means taking directions outside the perceived norm and not being afraid to make adjustments. If doing so makes me a rebel (even with a negative connotation) then I proudly accept the title.

Wake up and smell the old World…

OK so I’ve heard from several of you wondering what’s going on. Why no new blog entries? Well one of the very few benefits of being here so long is this thing called leave. I left Iraq for a few weeks for a bit of Rest and Relaxation. What a relief it is to breathe air not laced with Mesopotamian dust and smoke from burning tires. I opted to meet my girlfriend in Europe for a couple weeks instead of taking the long flight back 11 time zones. Our itinerary included time in Germany and France. Even the noise and auto pollution of Paris was - well a “breath of fresh air.”

I took this opportunity to fulfill a long awaited goal. Being the history buff I am, we visited the allied invasion beaches of Normandy. Trying to explain all the sights and emotions will require several entries of their own but just know the experience of visiting such historical places as Pegasus Bridge, Omaha and Utah beach, Pont du Hoc and Ste. Mere Eglise at this particular time in my life was ironic… educational… contextual…

We followed this up with a trip to the Burgundy region for some really amazing food and wine… actually after all the KBR meals, a Twinkie and Thunder-Bird alcoholic grape juice is amazing food and wine. Trust me when I say we ate and drank like royalty. Hmmm - I forgot what real food tastes like. From Burgundy we headed to the Black Forrest of Germany. Did I ever mention I hate the desert? Wow - I forgot what fresh water, trees and mountain air is like - so crisp… so sweet. After a pit stop in Baden-Baden for a spa treatment and some Chinese food we made a side-trip to visit a small town named Neuenburg; the namesake of a close friend. (By the way Mr. Neuenburg, you may want to go back to the old country to fix-up the family castle, it sprung a leak in the roof some hundred years ago and the water damage is pretty severe. On the plus side the massive stone walls are still pretty damned impressive.) After a rather peppy 3 digit speed on the Deutsche Autobahn – “Wow this little car can really go this fast!” – We headed back to Paris. Amazing - I forgot what freedom of travel is like. In Paris we visited Euro Disney and saw Harry Potter on the big screen. Oh yeah - I forgot how much I love the entertainment industry.

Now that I’m back to my “favorite” land of sand, 120 + temperatures, hostile-fire, restricted movement and processed food I will simply say the real significance of my trip isn’t so much that I got some much needed sleep and time to decompress. It’s more that I had an awakening. I realized how deeply involved I became in my work here and how many things I took for granted or simply forgot about. I realized just how home sick I am. Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary that I left my civilian life for military duty. I am ready to finish up this tour and get back to my family, friends, career, and most importantly the wonders of my previous life.